Filial Piety

Filial piety
From Wikipedia


In Confucian thought, filial piety (Chinese: 孝; pinyin: xiào) is one of the virtues to be cultivated: a love and respect for one's parents and ancestors.
In somewhat general terms, filial piety means to take care of one's parents; not be rebellious; show love, respect and support; display courtesy; ensure male heirs, uphold fraternity among brothers; wisely advise one's parents; conceal their mistakes (though some schools advocate pointing out and correcting their mistakes); display sorrow for their sickness and death; and carry out sacrifices after their death.
Filial piety is considered the first virtue in Chinese culture, and it is the main concern of a large number of stories. One of the more famous one is The Twenty-four Filial Exemplars (二十四孝).



I often ask myself, how can I be more filial to my aged parents? They dont want to stay with any of their children, I know its because they dont want to burden their working kids and their families. How then, can we play our part, by giving them monthly stipends, by calling them regularly, by visiting, by spending festivities with them as and when we can... the list goes on, what else can we do especially when we hear they are sick and not well. I am confused. I am a self confessed workaholic, I dont even take off days when I am not well, unless I really cant get up from bed like last week. Crazy you may say, I like to work and keep busy, I play my part at home, the dutiful wife and mother. Still as they say, family comes first. However, I have been guilty of working and not being there for my children when they need me there, leaving my husband to bear the burden himself, like parent-teacher conferences and receiving results...

I am guilty of putting my meetings ahead of my family's needs . Why, because I strongly believe in giving 100% to my work, my sense of responsibilty and accountability so strong sometimes it scares me that I am neglecting my family life. I tell myself to be positive, I tell myself I have a choice. Since I chose to work, I have to live with it and play my part well, daughter, wife and mother on one hand, boss, colleaque and friend on the other.



So far, it has been ok. My family accepts my work schedule though they wish I was home more. I want to be a more filial daughter yet find it hard to divide my time and space. I call my parents often or they call me. This is the delicate balance we call family life. I want to do more for my parents, for my family, yet a part of me yearns to be involved in this worklife that I have chosen.

Filail piety remains yet the love and respect I hold for my parents and yet the missing link is not being there for them when they need me everyday, cos they choose not to live with us and we cannot live near them so to speak. So this has been the point of contention among the 6 of us, how to take care of them now that they are old and getting around is difficult. Social responsibility is ours to bear and society expects children to take care of their parents. I hope I can do that soon.

Let us not forget that mums and dads are to be loved and wanted, no matter what has been said and done, no matter what happens, parents will remain parents

I pray to God to bless my parents in their old age, to watch over them in our absence, and... for me to be a better daughter.

God Bless all parents .