Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Forgive and Forget.

A few weeks ago, I posted on facebook this:
Forgiving doesn't mean Forgetting...this generated a number of comments: forgive is forget is another matter
...setuju juga...memaafkan tidak semestinya melupakan.
...yes...u can forgive but not forget...
...very true
...yup very true. easy to forgive but impossible to forget.

This morning, there was a special program on TV2 on the same subject.
There was a doctor from UM who discussed the above matter. Her take was that we forgive so we can move on with our lives, we can overcome our resentment and we forgive for our own good.

A search on the internet provided this info on the matter:

It's not always easy, but the benefits of forgiving -- and 'forgetting' -- can be powerful. Here are some tips.

By Tom Valeo
WebMD FeatureReviewed by Cynthia Dennison Haines, MD

Many people view forgiveness as an offshoot of love -- a gift given freely to those who have hurt you.

Forgiveness, however, may bring enormous benefits to the person who gives that gift, according to recent research. If you can bring yourself to forgive and forget, you are likely to enjoy lower blood pressure, a stronger immune system, and a drop in the stress hormones circulating in your blood, studies suggest. Back pain, stomach problems, and headaches may disappear. And you'll reduce the anger, bitterness, resentment, depression, and other negative emotions that accompany the failure to forgive.

Of course, forgiving is notoriously difficult. "Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea until they have something to forgive," said C.S. Lewis.

And forgetting may not be a realistic or desirable goal.

"Despite the familiar cliche, 'forgive and forget,' most of us find forgetting nearly impossible," says Charlotte vanOyen Witvliet, PhD, associate professor of psychology at Hope College. "Forgiveness does not involve a literal forgetting. Forgiveness involves remembering graciously. The forgiver remembers the true though painful parts, but without the embellishment of angry adjectives and adverbs that stir up contempt."

Forgiving (and Forgetting) Quells Stress
That type of angry "embellishment," as Witvliet calls it, seems to carry serious consequences. In a 2001 study, she monitored the physiological responses of 71 college students as they either dwelled on injustices done to them, or imagined themselves forgiving the offenders.

"When focused on unforgiving responses, their blood pressure surged, their heart rates increased, brow muscles tensed, and negative feelings escalated," she says. "By contrast, forgiving responses induced calmer feelings and physical responses. It appears that harboring unforgiveness comes at an emotional and a physiological cost. Cultivating forgiveness may cut these costs."

But how do we cultivate forgiveness?

Frederic Luskin, PhD, director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project, readily admits that forgiveness, like love, can't be forced.

"You can't just will forgiveness," says Luskin, author of Forgive For Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness. "What I teach is that you can create conditions where forgiveness is more likely to occur. There are specific practices we offer that diminish hostility and self-pity, and increase positive emotions, so it becomes more likely that a genuine, heartfelt release of resentment will occur."

So for me, I am in the process of forgiving certain people in my life but forgetting will be a long time coming. Time will heal the wounds but for some, it is embellished forever in our hearts and minds.

Menopause- what are the symptoms and treatment?

I am at the age where menopause is catching up with me...a search in the internet espouses plenty of here's some to share.


Menopause represents the end of menstruation. While technically it refers to the final menstrual period, it is not an abrupt event, but a gradual process. Menopause is not a disease that needs to be cured, but a natural life-stage transition. However, women have to make important decisions about managing its symptoms, including the use of hormone replacement therapy (HRT).

Many women have irregular periods and other problems of perimenopause for years. It is not easy to predict when menopause begins, although doctors agree it is complete when a woman has not had a period for a full year. Eight out of every 100 women stop menstruating before age 40. At the other end of the spectrum, five out of every 100 continue to have periods until they are almost 60. The average age of menopause is 51.

There is no method to determine when the ovaries will begin to scale back but a woman can get a general idea based on her family history, body type, and lifestyle. Women who began menstruating early will not necessarily stop having periods early. A woman will likely enter menopause at about the same age as her mother.

Causes & symptoms
Once a woman enters puberty, each month her body releases one of the more than 400,000 eggs that are stored in her ovaries, and the lining of the womb (uterus) thickens in anticipation of receiving a fertilized egg. If the egg is not fertilized, progesterone levels drop and the uterine lining sheds and bleeds.

By the time a woman reaches her late 30s or 40s, her ovaries begin to produce less estrogen and progesterone and release eggs less often. The gradual decline of estrogen causes a wide variety of changes in tissues that respond to estrogen—including the vagina, vulva, uterus, bladder, urethra, breasts, bones, heart, blood vessels, brain, skin, hair, and mucous membranes. Over the long term, the lack of estrogen can make a woman more vulnerable to osteoporosis (which can begin in the 40s) and heart disease.

As the levels of hormones fluctuate, the menstrual cycle begins to change. Some women may have longer periods with heavy flow followed by shorter cycles and very little bleeding. Others will begin to miss periods completely. During this time, a woman also becomes less able to get pregnant.

The most common symptom of menopause is a change in the menstrual cycle, but there are various other symptoms as well, including:

•hot flashes
•night sweats
•mood swings/irritability
•memory or concentration problems
•vaginal dryness
•heavy bleeding
•hair changes
•heart palpitations
•sexual disinterest
•urinary changes
•weight gain

The clearest indication of menopause is the absence of a period for one full year. It is also possible to diagnose menopause by testing hormone levels. If it has been at least three months since a woman's last period, a follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) test might be helpful in determining whether menopause has occurred. FSH levels rise steadily as a woman ages. The FSH test alone cannot be used as proof that a woman has entered early menopause. A better measure of menopause is to determine the levels of FSH, estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, and other hormones.

Some women also report success in using natural remedies to treat the unpleasant symptoms of menopause. Not all women need estrogen and some women cannot take it due to adverse side effects. Many doctors do not want to give hormones to women who are still having their periods, however erratically. Only a third of menopausal women in the United States try HRT and of those who do, eventually half of them drop the therapy. As for alternative therapies, most have only received attention in the United States in the past decade or so. Debate continues until scientific studies can prove these treatments' effectiveness on menopausal symptoms. As interest in alternative therapies for menopause continues, so will research. In the meantime, women should consult their physicians when adding alternative therapies to treatment of menopause symptoms.

General dietary recommendations include raw foods, fruits, fresh vegetables, whole grains, nuts, seeds, and fresh vegetable juices. Some foods are recommended because they contain phytoestrogens. Intake of dairy products and meats should be reduced. Pork and lunch meats should be avoided.

Belinda Rowland, Teresa G. Odle, The Gale Group Inc., Gale, Detroit, 2005

Hope you have been enlightened...

Friday, September 16, 2011

8 Foods That Keep You Full (and 4 That Don’t).

By Camille Noe Pagan, Glamour magazine

Anyone who’s ever walked away from the table only to be starving moments later (Chinese food, we’re looking at you) knows that certain edibles can leave you more famished than you were before you ate ‘em. If you want to stay satisfied longer—a key to weight control—remember this magic trio: protein, healthy fats and fiber. Here, nutritionists’ favorite healthy filler-uppers.


For just 70 calories, an egg delivers more than 6 grams of protein, says Shelley McGuire, Ph.D., a spokesperson for the American Society for Nutrition. One study found that women who ate eggs for breakfast lost more weight than those who had bagels with the same number of calories, possibly because all that protein kept their hunger in check. The egg eaters reported more energy too!


Studies show that foods containing a lot of water can keep you feeling full. And when you start a meal with soup, you activate brain signals that begin to tell you you’ve had enough to eat—so that by the time you finish your second course, you’ll be satisfied. “Go for a broth-based bowl with fiber-rich veggies like celery and spinach,” says Amy Jamieson-Petonic, R.D.


Their healthy monounsaturated fats may help slow the rate at which your stomach empties, says McGuire. They’re also loaded with folate, potassium and vitamin E, and early research suggests that foods containing these nutrients may be more satiating than others.

Low-Fat Greek Yogurt

Seventeen grams of protein in a 6-ounce container (that’s more than you get in four slices of turkey!) means major hunger control.


All that filling fiber (4 grams per half-cup serving in the old-fashioned variety; 3 grams in the instant) helps this breakfast stick to your ribs. It also provides a surprising 4 to 7 grams of protein (the steel-cut kind typically has the most)—and that’s before you add milk. For extra staying power, toss in blueberries, which have 4 grams of fiber per cup.


“Only 80 calories, but one can be as filling as a meal because of the 4 grams of fiber and high water content,” says Jamieson-Petonic.

Beans and Lentils

Eat them and you may end up eating less of everything else. “They’re high in protein—about 7 grams per half cup—and high in complex carbohydrates, the type that take longer to break down,” says McGuire.


“They have the perfect combination of fiber, protein and fat,” says Jamieson-Petonic. The nutritionists’ faves? Walnuts, almonds and pistachios. Just stick to an ounce or less to avoid calorie overload.

Food That Makes You Hungry:
Cookies, Crackers and Croissants

Steer clear of the three C’s — those processed, sugary carbs tend to cause hunger to rebound. Pick whole-grain snacks instead. (Low-fat popcorn counts!)


Famished after happy hour? It’s not just your willpower: Booze can spike your appetite, experts say.


Many are high in hunger-producing sugar and little else. Look for protein and fiber like in Kashi GoLean.

“Diet” Foods

Some frozen dinners, for example, actually have too few calories and not enough filling fruits and veggies.

So, if you are into healthy living and dieting all the time, maybe you can take the cue from here, Good luck and stay healthy!

Interesting websites recommended...

Got this in my mail via the Gorgeous magazine, MBF card.
So let's click away...
...which claims to be the funniiest place on the web.
...which highlights pictures of newborn animals from accredited zoos and acquariums form all over the globe.

...which features jokes to brighten your mood.
...which publishes stories that are uplifitng, touching and inspirational.
...which features creative pictures and videos from real people who record funny, happy or touching moments and post it online.
...where you can view super adorable images and videos of bubbly, chubby little infants.

also a site recommended in The Star today on how to improve your English at thsi website... -this website provides free lessons for learners at all levels, and even a section where one can learn English songs.

So click away...and be happy!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Good study habits...

Good article and guide for our students...

Good Study Habits In College Make For A Good Student
By Sulal

It all starts with Studying.
The success or failure of a career depends largely on college, and a successful academic career is mainly based on academic performance. Studying plays a major role in achieving academic success. Study skills must be earned, honed and applied in order for a student to enhance his or her academic performance. Developing good study habits can improve a student’s performance enormously.

Homework requires concentration, so try doing it in a special study area. The location should be quite free from distractions such as television, conversations or loud music. The room should be brightly lit to accommodate reading and to avoid eyestrain and headaches. Homework should be completed each day at the same time, manufacturing a considerate schedule. Prioritize assignments – break up the longer assignments into specific sections so that they can be easily completed in a timely fashion.

Be Proactive!
Don’t run the risk of forgetting important homework and study assignments by trying to remember them. Instead, chronicle your assignments and study tasks. This will allow you to remember all of the important details the teacher conveyed during class. Your notebook can include the name of the subject, the date the information was received, the date the assignment is due and all pertinent details for completing the assignment. is a great website to check out for information on college classes.

If the assignment instructions are unclear, do not leave the classroom without getting a complete understanding of the subject and directions. You will not be able to complete the assignment if you do not understand the instructions. Because most assignments are given orally, it is imperative that students have a keen ear and listen carefully to the professor’s directions and adhere to the following guidelines.

Now Finish This Before Tomorrow
An Ordered Process
As the teacher conveys spoken directions, try to take notes exactly as given. Include all steps that are relayed in the instructions. Make every attempt to arrange them in the sequence they are to be completed. Be sure to write down key words that give express direction on how to complete the assignment. These key words can include like read, write, organize, and memorize. If you need further clarification, ask the teacher to repeat or explain in further details.

When directions are given in written form by the teacher, like directly from the chalkboard, lifted from overhead transparencies, or given in a handout, be sure to read over the directions in its entirety. Be sure to ask any questions about the directions that you do not understand before leaving the classroom. Start the assignment by dividing up the directions into steps (in logical order). Then, collect all of the materials you need to complete the assignment. This is just as true for traditional classes as it is for accredited online courses.

Good Study Habits
It will help you in your college career to develop good study habits. The first thing you need to do is take responsibility for your actions. You are the only one who can decide your priorities and how to use your time and resources.
Don't allow yourself to become distracted by friends and fellow students. Keep in mind the bigger picture. Know what you have to do and when it needs to be done. Keep your goals in mind. Don't let other people influence you into not doing your work.

Figure out your most productive times of the day. If you study best in the morning, plan to study your hardest subjects first. If you have trouble concentrating at a certain time, don't get out your hardest subjects or your most complex project.
If you do not understand the course material, try some innovative ways to learn it. Don't just keep rereading the material in hopes that you will eventually understand it. Ask your instructor for help. If your school has study sessions and peer tutors, take advantage of these offerings. Set up study groups within your class.

When you put your best effort in your work, then you have succeeded. If you are satisfied with what you have done and know that you have done your best, then your grade is the icing on the cake. Always give your best in the classroom and in study sessions. By doing so, you will know that you have tried.

For more information, go to...

Friday, September 9, 2011

Killing yourself is NEVER an option!

Killing yourself is NEVER an option! That's what my daughter said to me when I told her about the headlines in the papers last nite (some papers arrive at night, yes they do. That sounded so right and she said she learnt it from Sunday School. Wow!

It really is sad! Yet another two people killed themselves I hear because of money problems. So where does it put us? The public reading it aloud with gasps, with our own loud comments and opinions. How does it make us feel? Personally it's so sad, that people feel they have no choice, they have no way to find that extra money to live a decent life or even to eat. When there are extra food we throw away, where even dogs and cats have plenty to eat from leftovers. So what makes "them" decide to take their own lives? Are we as a society so indifferent, so numb to our neighbour's cries for help? It makes me shudder to think that while we who have jobs and money are thinking how to make more money, how to gather more material to get further up our careers, how we step over others along the way to get what we want...when there are people around us who are in need.

Then there are cases of people who take their own lives over a love lost, over failed exams, over bitter quarrels or even fights! And sadly, many of these are our young ones. More sad when the person kills others before killing themselves to bring attention to their cause.

Yes, sometimes we read about caring individuals who donate and help with soup kitchens, who open their homes, their wallets and hearts to help those in need. But I guess that is now not long as there are people who feel they are so alone, that no one cares, that no one can help them, that they have no one to talk to, to turn to...what else is there to live for, we have ROLES to play.

I salute the Bill Gates and Melinda Foundation which gives back to society through providing educational support and monetary means to their own citizens and abroad. I salute the billionaires who pledge to donate their wealth to society before they die. What magnamous people! But we don't have to be millionaires to do something. We can all do something for eg. by not closing our eyes to child abuse or any form of domestic violence...there are avenues of support for everyone, but maybe we should advertise more...

Killing yourself or death is NEVER an option. Killing your loved ones to lessen the burden or fearing for their future is also NEVER an option. We must do more. We must educate people that there are options to LIVE. We must all open our eyes, ears and hearts to those in NEED. Let us not read about these sad stories in the papers. Let us help one another. For those in need of help, please, please get help..HELP is just round the not take your own lives! There is nothing we cannot solve together, and there is no one as worthy as yourself to sacrifice yourself for!

Let us make sure our younger generation understand that there are other options if they face failure...that success comes from failure, that there will be a better future, that help will come...but for some, it is too little too late.
Let us do our bit before we leave this world.
As someone said: "We only pass this way but once, whatever good we can do,
let us do it now".

I also take this opportunity to remember all the victims and heroes of 911, tomorrow is the tenth anniversary of the tragedy. May God Bless them all.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Monday, September 5, 2011

WELCOME TO THE 21st CENTURY where everything...

Hope u’ll enjoy this light-hearted mail I received today &
realize how true it’s for us to be in this 21st century. Speechless!

Communication - Wireless
Salaries-Less & Less

Sounds familiar right. So wither art thou?

THE OLD FISHERMAN ...a story you have to read and share...

This story is just too good to keep to myself...

Our house was directly across the street from the clinic entrance of Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore . We lived downstairs & rented the upstairs rooms to out-patients at the Clinic.

One summer evening as I was fixing supper, there was a knock at the door. I opened it to see a truly awful looking man. 'Why, he's hardly taller than my eight-year-old,' I thought as I stared at the stooped, shriveled body.
But the appalling thing was his face, lopsided from swelling, red & raw. Yet, his voice was pleasant as he said,'Good evening. I've come to see if you've a room for just one night. I came for a treatment this morning from the eastern shore, & there's no bus 'till morning.'

He told me he'd been hunting for a room since noon but with no success; no one seemed to have a room. 'I guess it's my face. I know it looks terrible, but my doctor says with a few more treatments...'
For a moment I hesitated, but his next words convinced me, 'I could sleep in this rocking chair on the porch. My bus leaves early in the morning.' I told him we would find him a bed, but to rest on the porch. I went inside & finished getting supper. When we were ready, I asked the old man if he would join us. 'No thank you. I have plenty' And he held up a brown paper bag.

When I had finished the dishes, I went out on the porch to talk with him a few minutes. It didn't take a long time to see that this old man had an over sized heart crowded into that tiny body. He told me he fished for a living to support his daughter, her five children & her husband, who was hopelessly crippled from a back injury.

He didn't tell it by way of complaint; in fact, every other sentence was prefaced with thanks to God for a blessing. He was grateful that no pain accompanied his disease, which was apparently a form of skin cancer. He was thankful for the strength to keep going.

At bedtime, we put a camp cot in the children's room for him. When I got up in the morning, the bed linens were neatly folded, & the little man was out on the porch.
He refused breakfast, but just before he left for his bus, haltingly, as if asking a great favor, he said, 'Could I please come back & stay the next time I have a treatment? I won't put you out a bit. I can sleep fine in a chair.' He paused a moment & then added, 'Your children made me feel at home. Grownups are bothered by my face, but children don't seem to mind.' I told him he was welcome to come again.

And on his next trip he arrived a little after seven in the morning. As a gift, he brought a big fish & a quart of the largest oysters I had ever seen. He said he had shucked them that morning before he left so that they'd be nice & fresh. I knew his bus left at 4 a.m., & I wondered what time he had to get up in order to do this for us.
In the years he came to stay overnight with us there was never a time that he did not bring us fish or oysters or vegetables from his garden.

Other times we received packages in the mail, always by special delivery; fish & oysters packed in a box of fresh young spinach or kale, every leaf carefully washed. Knowing that he must walk three miles to mail these & knowing how little money he had made the gifts doubly precious.

When I received these little remembrances, I often thought of a comment our next-door neighbor made after he left that first morning. 'Did you keep that awful looking man last night? I turned him away! You can lose roomers by putting up such people!'
Maybe we did lose roomers once or twice But, oh if only they could have known him, perhaps their illness would have been easier to bear. I know our family always will be grateful to have known him; from him we learned what it was to accept the bad without complaint & the good with gratitude..

Recently I was visiting a friend who has a greenhouse. As she showed me her flowers, we came to the most beautiful one of all, a golden chrysanthemum, bursting with blooms. But to my great surprise, it was growing in an old dented, rusty bucket. I thought to myself, 'If this were my plant, I'd put it in the loveliest container I had!'
My friend changed my mind. 'I ran short of pots,' she explained, 'and knowing how beautiful this one would be, I thought it wouldn't mind starting out in this old pail. It's just for a little while, till I can put it out in the garden.'

She must have wondered why I laughed so delightedly, but I was imagining just such a scene in heaven. There's an especially beautiful one,' God might have said when he came to the soul of the sweet old fisherman. 'He won't mind starting in this small body.'
All this happened long ago -- and now, in God's garden, how tall this lovely soul must stand..

The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.'

Friends are very special. They make you smile & encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear & they share a word of praise. Show your friends how much you care.
Pass this on, & brighten someone's day.

Nothing will happen if you do not decide to pass it along.
The only thing that will happen if you do pass it on is that someone might smile because of you ! Never look down on anybody, unless you're helping them up.

"Life without God is like an unsharpened pencil - it has no point."

Friday, September 2, 2011

This is the latest in medicine, effective for cancer!

Got this in my email...don't know much about it..but its worth a try.

From the Institute of Health Sciences, 819 N. L.L.C. Charles Street Baltimore , MD 1201.
Read carefully & you be the judge.

Lemon (Citrus) is a miraculous product to kill cancer cells. It is 10,000 times stronger than chemotherapy.
Why do we not know about that? Because there are laboratories interested in making a synthetic version that will bring them huge profits. You can now help a friend in need by letting him/her know that lemon juice is beneficial in preventing the disease. Its taste is pleasant and it does not produce the horrific effects of chemotherapy. How many people will die while this closely guarded secret is kept, so as not to jeopardize the beneficial multimillionaires large corporations? As you know, the lemon tree is known for its varieties of lemons and limes.
You can eat the fruit in different ways: you can eat the pulp, juice press, prepare drinks, sorbets, pastries, etc... It is credited with many virtues, but the most interesting is the effect it produces on cysts and tumors. This plant is a proven remedy against cancers of all types. Some say it is very useful in all variants of cancer. It is considered also as an anti microbial spectrum against bacterial infections and fungi, effective against internal parasites and worms, it regulates blood pressure which is too high and an antidepressant, combats stress and nervous disorders.
The source of this information is fascinating: it comes from one of the largest drug manufacturers in the world, says that after more than 20 laboratory tests since 1970, the extracts revealed that: It destroys the malignant cells in 12 cancers, including colon, breast, prostate, lung and pancreas. The compounds of this tree showed 10,000 times better than the product Adriamycin, a drug normally used chemotherapeutic in the world, slowing the growth of cancer cells. And what is even more astonishing: this type of therapy with lemon extract only destroys malignant cancer cells and it does not affect healthy cells.

Institute of Health Sciences, 819 N. L.L.C. Cause Street, Baltimore, MD1201

Some of the most beautiful things in the world...

We often wonder at the wonderful things around and amrvel at their beauty. I came across such beauty in one of the emails forwarded to me and am pleased to share with you all the following. I am sure it will make your day just as they have mine. Enjoy!

One of the most beautiful horses in the world is
the Arabian.

One of the most beautiful bridges in the world is in
Japan ..

One of the most beautiful waterfalls in the world is
Niagara Falls in the U..S. and Canada

The most beautiful eyes in the world
belong to this little girl from Afghanistan

One of the most beautiful little girls in the world
is Fatima from Morocco

One of the most beautiful cities in the world is
Vancouver, Canada.

One of the most beautiful houses in the world is in Barcelona , Spain owned by the famous footballer, Ronaldhino.

Hope you enjoyed watching them as I have. Cheers!