Sunday, January 24, 2010

Some things you can't explain...or better left unsaid...

ya..what's this all about? Yes. I've been asking myself the same question this past weekend. What the heck is wrong with some work, at home...or is it me? Just when you think you've done the right things, someone disagrees and worse still put you down. Just when you think life is all chummy yummy, someone does and thinks otherwise. Wow, that really makes you sit up and ponder. Why do I have to put up with this? I get up at 5 every morning, see that the kids and the maid are up...see the kids off to school...leave the house by 6.15am, drop my son off at college and by 7.15am , I'm at the ask me why i go to the office so early...used to be earlier, at the office by 7am, now i have to drop my son, so there's some diversion there, well, I dont want to be stuck in the crazy morning work jam. Anyway, I prefer to sit down quietly and plan for the day. It's quiet time for me and the ideas can flow. Staff drift in and most come in by 8.30am. The day will quickly rush by...meetings, discussions...reports etc..and before you know it, it's 5pm...what a long day it has been. Suffice to say, if there's no meeting, I get to start my long journey home, again I want to beat the traffic jam home. One wonders, some days when it rains, or I leave the office late, it means two to three hours on the road home. That's when I reach home completely exhausted and worn out. That leaves me with little quality time with my family since the mood is gone and tiredness takes over. Over the past two years since I moved to my new place, it has been one of mixed feelings, comfort and satisfaction yet frustration at htimes cos of the distance from work. But most of that feeling has been replaced by one of acceptance of things that are and also the fact that, i still have family with me. That should keep me happy and contented. ya, some feelings you just can't explain and don't have to.

Then again, a quick nightly check of the office email is a must...just in case some colleaques need something or you have to edit a report or provide input for somebody who needs it. All in a day's work. It should be comprehensible by now, family,'s so closely intertwined, I can't really say i have been successful in dividing the two. To me, they seem to complement each other. I expect to bring office work home and so do my family. Everyone's got their own work and responsibilities. Some may say, leave the office work at the office...i guess i am one of those who can't, unless I have family commitments elsewhere, i mean out of state etc. If not, I guess I am available 24/7.

I wish things like family relationships can be as easy as it looks. Some things you can't explain, why some people react differently to what one sibling is saying or doing. A simple statement or email can be so wrongly interpreted by someone else, its hard to fathom. But I guess I won't try to find out why ...let things be...let them have their say and for me, better to leave things unsaid. Cos words once spoken cannot be taken back. Then there will be the awkwards moments when you meet cos of what has passed between, either face to face or via email. Some siblings don't talk to one another etc...I guess it happens in every household at some time or other. It happens in mine, now and then. But blood is thicker than water..and soon all will be well again. I mean how long can one keep the grudges, how long can one feel the hurt and the anger, as long as it takes you say, well, yes time heals they say, but to forgive and forget is another. At any rate, suffice to say, I won't be losing any sleep on it cos' my conscience is clear... some days, it's easier to just forget and not say anything about it at all. In this case, I really can't figure out or explain it and so I am leaving it at that! Well, then again, some things are better left unsaid.

Office politics is another thing I won't be drawn into. There's the usual gossip and I will not be drawn into it. I try to do my best and expect others to do theirs as well. I also expect that work done must be completed on time and done correctly at the first time. I also expect meetings to be planned in advance and executed accordingly. I also expect respect and decorum shown during meetings where and when it should be accorded. at any time, the chairman of a meeting must be accorded proper respect. Out of the office, it's different, one can be friends I often say outside the office but during office hours, there must be respect shown, a superior and co-worker and staff under your supervision. I just hope everyone realises this without it being displayed or talked about.

Well, that was my week. I am looking forward to what's in store..since the Boss is back.
Have a good week.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

2010 is here....where am I?

Happy New Year.
We are well into January...2nd week to be exact. What have I been doing? I think for the first time in my life... I didnt make any NY resolutions. Wonder why? I have been busy as usual towards the end of the year. There was the trip to the APEID-UNESCO Conference in Hangzhou China, wish we had more time to explore, then the year end X'mas festive break and by golly, before I knew it, the NY was upon us...but I suppose if I wanted to, I could find the time to make a list. I did consider the fact that after years of writing down new resolutions and pondering over the previous year's list, I decided it doesn't really matter if I made a list or not this year. Over the months I forgot what I had written down and in the end, it did not serve any purpose for me. I suppose I could refer to the list now and then but then again, it was not important. The list was usually the same: lose weight, stop ageing, as if I could, be a better mum, daughter, wife, sister etc. perform better at work...the list goes on. I think over the years, I have achieved what I wanted to. Maybe if I had to make just one resolution, it would be to be more committed towards finishing my PhD. My daughter now cracks jokes that she will be graduating before me and she has another three half years to go before she qualifies as a doctor. So where am I?

Excuses, excuses, excuses. Gosh! I do hate procrastination and I seem to be caught in its web.
The funny thing it doesn't happen where my office work is concerned. I consider that taken care of very well. Ask my staff. My personal studies is the one I keep on putting off and basically, in the end its my personal satisfaction if I finish it anytime soon. Wish me luck.

I hope and wish that 2010 will be a better year for everyone.