I am my parent’s daughter…

Some months ago, I think in June, I did a piece on filial piety. That was when mum was undergoing her by-pass operation. Back then, I asked myself what was filial piety and what were our responsibilities as children. Now five months down the line, I am reviewing the contributions I have made towards making my parents lives more meaningful and fruitful. Now, I ask myself whether I could have done more and whether my weekend outings and being with them has had any impact on their lives. I am particularly sad and affected when my eldest sister has consistently called me a “guest child”. This, she defines, as a child who only goes back to visit her parents during festive seasons, birthdays and particular occasions. I agree that I have not been to visit my parents as regular as I should (weekends or monthly trips) and in a year, perhaps I go back to my hometown maybe four to five times a year. But I object and disagree to being called a “guest child’ because I am on the phone almost every day, checking on my parents and she calls me almost every day as well. My parents also visit us (my brother and I ) in Kuala Lumpur quite often (4-5 times a year), so I feel that I see her almost every month. The only thing is I am not around daily to see to their needs, but I am all ears for them and believe me, my mum calls and tells me everything and also asks my opinion on most things. I have never felt far away from their lives and in fact, they are a part of our lives though we live apart. I believe I am my parents’ child and will remain so till the end and no one should doubt that. We cannot choose our parents and neither can they choose their children, and that is a fact!

Let us reflect on what our parents have sacrificed over the years. Their support to us since we were kids have been endless, financially and materially when we were young, then emotional and physical as we got older, babysitting, driving our kids to and from school and caring for them when we had to do our own things. I will always remember my parents for taking care of my daughter Jenny, for the first year of her life, to this day, the special bond between them is unbreakable. How easy it is to forget their contributions to our families, how easy it is to forget the times we have relied on them to take care of the children, send and pick them from school, how easy it is to forget the times we needed them to do some marketing, buy lunch for the kids, bring in the clothes, the list is long………of course we look at ourselves and we cannot deny that being so near, children who live nearby will have to take them to the doctors’ when they fall ill and bring them shopping occasionally. Mind you, my parents were very happy living independent lives and doing their own thing, my dad was still driving till June this year when he had to leave it all behind to move to KL because of my mum’s operation and that was when, his Parkinsons disease got worse and slowly now dementia has crept into is life and that of ours.

People do grow old, it’s just that now it’s our parents turn. We have to accept the situation and the sooner we do so the better. My brother put it nicely when he said that we should not push them into forgetting their own old house, there is too much memorabilia left behind. We all have to play our part and make their remaining years worthwhile and happy. They need to be around us, and since most of us are working, we have to work our schedules around them , so far it’s been challenging but I think it has worked so far. I only hope we continue to be happy as a family and that our bonds will remain strong till eternity.