SPEND YOUR HOLIDAYS WISELY…….

The holidays for our school-going kids began a month ago. Now that December is here and Christmas is just round the corner and the end of the year is approaching, many families are taking holidays together.

The month of November came and went, my own two kids have been spending time in front of the TV and the computer, going out with friends and playing badminton in the evenings. Looking at the four pastimes, I can’t help but pick out playing badminton as the best activity thus far. My husband had bought my son a new Yonex racquet and it has been used well. I have told them to watch ‘good programs’ like Discovery Science, National Geography, Sports, Travel and even the Asian Food Channel. I think they enjoy these programs and the past week, my kids have been experimenting with cooking, I don’t mind, they are allowed to explore new recipes and come up with their own lunch, tea or dinner!

They have since made chocolate brownies, spaghetti and today, baked mashed potatoes and bacon strips. I think everyone enjoyed their tea. Well, its December and I have also told my kids they have had enough rest from their studies and now they have to hit their books again. Yes, they will have to prepare for the new school term which is just a few weeks away…
Most holidays come and go, whether we spend them wisely or not depends on the individual. I have taken a couple of holidays here and there but have yet to really go off for a long break, at least not yet. I am looking forward to the long 6 day break for Christmas and also a few days at the New Year in Penang. Most weekends I would spend going out with the family, exercising at Bukit Jalil, eating together and shopping together.

One of those weekends we went to Pulau Ketam. Always heard about the place but never been there. So, we decided to take the trip there and try the seafood there as well. Turned out, the speedboat ride was fast though the boat itself was quite old and one could hardly see anything out the windows cos’ the panes were too old and misted to view anything. I made sure that everyone knew which life jacket to take in the event it was needed. They had plenty of life jackets above the passenger seats. On arrival after a half an hour ride, we hopped ashore and proceeded to visit the island. Of course one is at once greeted by the rows of seafood restaurants and stalls selling foodstuff. After that we walked past houses on both sides of the road (one can also rent bicycles at RM5 per day).

To my pleasant surprise I found a stall selling fried ice-cream or “ice-cream goreng”. I thought it was only a speciality of Terengganu. There were, however, too many dogs running around freely, much to my dislike. Nothing against them if they are kept indoors and not fight in public places! One can see the exposed wounds festing on the dogs concerned..urghssssssss. My daughter and I were utterly disgusted.

Another horrible encounter was the enormous amount of rubbish that was just strewn everywhere, beside the houses as if that was their common rubbish bins! I found it very disgusting that people could just live next to so much rubbish. No matter how beautiful the houses looked (some really looked nice), the rubbish put me off. I wonder how we could promote Pulau Ketam as a seafood eating paradise (I saw groups of tourists), when the primary hygiene of the area leaves much to be desired. We quickly walked past the houses, made an about turn and went back to the front where the seafood restaurants beckon.

We settled on one, and proceeded to order. The food was good, we had crabs, prawns, fishball soup, vegetables and fish. All in all, it was a good meal. I must confess I didn’t want to check out the kitchen or the toilet just in case …The trip back was made more exciting because it rained and it was troublesome getting back to the car which we had parked nearby the terminal. We drove back to town and was I glad to be back in one of my favourite shopping places, Sunway Pyramid. With its wonderful Xmas décor and numerous shops, that made my weekend quite perfect. So as you can see, folks, my holidays often include shopping and eating.

Another place we visited on another weekend was the Sepang Goldcoast. Yes, folks, its ‘cuti-cuti Malaysia” for us. That weekend trip was a pleasant surprise. My husband decided we should drive around and look for a beach near the Sepang area. We have heard about it but nevertheless, we won’t know till we get there right? The drive was quite scenic, we stopped at a local restaurant for some tea (fried mee and stuff), then passed rows of dragon fruit orchards, which was a wonderful surprise. My girl took lots of photos.

The fruits plus the plants are rather unusual if you haven’t seen them before. There were also stalls selling the fruits. Then as we drove further, we chanced upon the Sepang GoldCoast, which was quite a wonderful sight. I grew up near the seaside (lived in Stulang Laut for ten years.), worked in Kuantan for thirteen years, so the beach and the sea have always fascinated me.

Having been to Kuantan dan Terengganu recently and visited the beaches there, I was extremely excited to see again long stretches of white, silky and soft sand. Perfect to the touch. My kids loved the beach and we took lots of pictures and my girl, Jo, of course loved all the posing. We ended up taking a long walk and also visited the Sepang Goldcoast resort area. It is in the process of being built and I am sure with the number of people there, it will be a successful venture. There was also horse riding on the side, kite-flying and other activities. I haven’t seen that many people on beaches for a long time and everyone was enjoying themselves. There were also numerous shops selling souvenirs and a number of interesting seafood restaurants. So another interesting outing for us. You know, holidaying in Malaysia isn’t too bad after all. Let us spend more time “dengan menjana ekonomi tempatan”.

Other than that, most weekends are also spent parent-sitting and mall-walking! I love holidays and spending quality time with the family. Most nights though, I love to just ‘lepak’ at home with the family, cooking their favourite food, having some karaoke sessions and also internet surfing. Just relaxing and having fun, away from all the tensions and politics at work… I am sure you all have your own holiday experiences to share. Holidays are for us to take time off to relax, reflect, re-energise, re-synergise and re-charge ourselves for the new year ahead.

So to everyone,

Happy Holidays,
Merry Christmas.
Happy New Year.

It's the Christmas Season....

To all of you out there, who still wonder what Christmas is...here's some extra info:

Christmas (IPA: /krɪsməs/), also referred to as Christmas Day or Christmastide, is an annual holiday celebrated on December 25 that marks and honors the birth of Jesus of Nazareth.[2][3][4] His birth, which is the basis for the anno Domini system of dating, has been determined by modern historians as having occurred between 7 and 2 BC. The date of celebration is not thought to be Jesus' actual date of birth. It may have been chosen to coincide with the winter solstice,[5] which the ancient Romans celebrated on December 25.[6]

Modern customs of the holiday include gift-giving, church celebrations, and the display of various decorations—including the Christmas tree, lights, mistletoe, nativity scenes and holly. Santa Claus (also referred to as Father Christmas, although the two figures have different origins) is a popular mythological figure often associated with bringing gifts at Christmas. Santa is generally believed to be the result of a syncretization between St. Nicholas of Myra and elements from pagan Nordic and Christian mythology, and his modern appearance is believed to have originated in 19th century media.

Christmas is celebrated throughout the Christian population, but is also celebrated by many non-Christians as a secular, cultural festival. The holiday is widely celebrated around the world, including in the United States, where it is celebrated by 96% of the population.[7] Some Orthodox groups celebrate Christmas on or near January 7, as January 7 corresponds to December 25 using the Julian calendar.[8] Because gift-giving and several other aspects of the holiday involve heightened economic activity among both Christians and non-Christians, Christmas has become a major event for many retailers.

I was in a couple of shopping centers last weekend... As usual the Curve was a wonderful sight with all its Christmas decorations and was a fantastic photo opportunity place.













So was Mid Valley City...I really wished I had much longer time to take in all the wonderful sights of retail Christmas. I couldn't resist the numerous sales and of course all the bustling and rapid purchase of certain items on sale.

Somehow Christmas this year will be at a slower pace, being on a Thursday and my husband not able to take leave whether on the eve or on Boxing Day! At any rate, we will be with my parents and family members urshering in the Chrismtas season and then start planning for Chinese New Year which happens to be exactly in a month from Christmas.
So to everyone out there celebrating the Yuletide, here's wishing one and all Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Change or be Changed!

“Change we need….” - Barrack Obama.
“Change or be left behind.”
“To change the world, we must change ourselves first”.
“Change is the only thing that is constant”.
“Change is inevitable…”
Common quotes we hear all the time.

Yes, who has not talked about the US President –Elect, Barrack Obama? His election speeches all talk about change and how America needs to change with the demands of today’s generation. “ This victory alone is not the change we seek. It is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were. It can't happen without you, without a new spirit of service, a new spirit of sacrifice. So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism, of responsibility, where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves but each other”.

If we listen to him, we cannot help but agree with what he has to say. We, ourselves, talk about change endlessly. But sometimes, when you look at it, when people refuse to change themselves, then they should be changed. That’s what is wrong with most of our projects that seem to lag, that never seem to get pass the planning stage, (we are well-known for planning but hopeless at implementing that sits in the laps of some bosses because they feel it’s their baby and only then can do the job. Has it occurred to our higher ups that these same bosses need to be changed. Some have sat here for years and have become their own little dictators or “little Napoleons”. Decisions are made to benefit a few and a lot of time is wasted delaying projects and decisions because only that one boss can make the final decision. Why you say, do we take all these lying down or sitting down? Basically it’s like this, what choice have we got? For most of us, we just accept what is happening and take a ‘wait and see’ attitude because we believe in “what goes round comes round”, we believe that “justice will be served” and we ‘do not’ want to ‘cause trouble’. It’s a pity though because while all this is going on the ‘heirs’ of our projects suffer, we see everything but our lack of courage does not help to alleviate the situation while their lack of conscience continue to control our lives.

Barrack Obama, the 44th President Elect of the United States of America. What an orator! What a fantastic speaker! How did a half-Afican-American man, a lawyer by profession with his roots in Kenya, win the election in America? They say if it can happen in America it can happen anywhere. Our dear Prime Minister said a day after “anyone from the minority races can be Prime Minister if the people want it”. But let’s not discuss that, the country is already embracing change as we speak, after the March elections. The Barisan National has been given another chance to lead even after losing five states to the Opposition. Without the PM’s transparency and democratization of various media eg the internet and allowing “blogging’ to enter the market so to speak, the election might have seen different results. But that is in the past. The way forward is for those in power to change or have change forced onto them. I hope the powers that be have the courage to see beyond race, beyond religion, beyond gender and set the paths right for our future generations.

From Bill Cole and Rick Seaman-The Star, Saturday 5 December 2008.

“The key to change management is to ignore both the supportive 15% (they don’t need convincing) and resistant 15% (they can’t be convinced) and concentrate on the neutral 70%. If the broad middle of the population moves to the right on the attitude bell curve, change happens”.
Here are some tips for the CEO who wants to successfully manage a company-wide change initiative:
- Be mentally tough. Show determined leadership and persevere under the most stressful resistance. Demonstrate that in your world, the change initiative is a done deal.
- Don’t create more resistance than is naturally present by attempting to fight or control every aspect of your change initiative.
- Don’t take the resistance personally. Realize that the laws of the corporate jungle are operating and you can’t fight human nature.
- Handle the stress of the change process in admirable fashion, setting the standards for others to emulate.

There are so many good people out there, multi-racial Malaysians who only want to do their best, whose only wish is to see that the job gets done, projects implemented and money, the tax-payers’ contribution is well-spent. I am an educationist, somewhat disappointed with what is happening around me, but as I have always professed in my blog, “live and let live”. I will continue to do my job to the best of my abilities, I will continue to complete tasks given to me, while supporting my staff and maintaining some sort of order into our lives. I will be the leader in tasks I know are mine, I will make sure my staff become leaders in the making and not just mere followers. I will make sure they can carry out work independently while drawing on their responsibilities and accountability. Yes, I will change to accommodate the situation for as they say, for the world to change, we must change first, but I still hope that those that need to change have themselves need to be changed first. I remain positive as I still have faith in the common good of man, in a country that has seen change take place albeit shockingly in March 2008, in a place we all fellow Malaysians: Malay, Indian, Chinese, Iban, Kadazan, Sikh, Muslim, Buddhist, Kristian, Sikh, Hindu.., call home.

I am my parent’s daughter…

Some months ago, I think in June, I did a piece on filial piety. That was when mum was undergoing her by-pass operation. Back then, I asked myself what was filial piety and what were our responsibilities as children. Now five months down the line, I am reviewing the contributions I have made towards making my parents lives more meaningful and fruitful. Now, I ask myself whether I could have done more and whether my weekend outings and being with them has had any impact on their lives. I am particularly sad and affected when my eldest sister has consistently called me a “guest child”. This, she defines, as a child who only goes back to visit her parents during festive seasons, birthdays and particular occasions. I agree that I have not been to visit my parents as regular as I should (weekends or monthly trips) and in a year, perhaps I go back to my hometown maybe four to five times a year. But I object and disagree to being called a “guest child’ because I am on the phone almost every day, checking on my parents and she calls me almost every day as well. My parents also visit us (my brother and I ) in Kuala Lumpur quite often (4-5 times a year), so I feel that I see her almost every month. The only thing is I am not around daily to see to their needs, but I am all ears for them and believe me, my mum calls and tells me everything and also asks my opinion on most things. I have never felt far away from their lives and in fact, they are a part of our lives though we live apart. I believe I am my parents’ child and will remain so till the end and no one should doubt that. We cannot choose our parents and neither can they choose their children, and that is a fact!

Let us reflect on what our parents have sacrificed over the years. Their support to us since we were kids have been endless, financially and materially when we were young, then emotional and physical as we got older, babysitting, driving our kids to and from school and caring for them when we had to do our own things. I will always remember my parents for taking care of my daughter Jenny, for the first year of her life, to this day, the special bond between them is unbreakable. How easy it is to forget their contributions to our families, how easy it is to forget the times we have relied on them to take care of the children, send and pick them from school, how easy it is to forget the times we needed them to do some marketing, buy lunch for the kids, bring in the clothes, the list is long………of course we look at ourselves and we cannot deny that being so near, children who live nearby will have to take them to the doctors’ when they fall ill and bring them shopping occasionally. Mind you, my parents were very happy living independent lives and doing their own thing, my dad was still driving till June this year when he had to leave it all behind to move to KL because of my mum’s operation and that was when, his Parkinsons disease got worse and slowly now dementia has crept into is life and that of ours.

People do grow old, it’s just that now it’s our parents turn. We have to accept the situation and the sooner we do so the better. My brother put it nicely when he said that we should not push them into forgetting their own old house, there is too much memorabilia left behind. We all have to play our part and make their remaining years worthwhile and happy. They need to be around us, and since most of us are working, we have to work our schedules around them , so far it’s been challenging but I think it has worked so far. I only hope we continue to be happy as a family and that our bonds will remain strong till eternity.

The week that was…

I thought the previous week was hectic, having gone to IAB for an interview,(senior lecturer’s post-DG 52) that included three hours of waiting in line (8.00am-11.30am) just to register for an interview, and finally finishing with an oral interview at 3.30pm. Then to a meeting in Kuantan-Beserah amidst the pouring rain and cool weather. As I said in my blog, the meeting went well, and of course I enjoyed my fill of “ikan patin buah masak tempoyak”. Back home for the weekend, I visited my parents at my brother’s house as usual and tried to ‘make’ their day enjoyable and fulfilling.

Then came Monday, when I received a call around lunchtime from my mum that dad had fallen and hit his face around midnight. So after work, I rushed over and saw that he was none the worse, visibly he spotted a cut above his left eye and had some swelling on his left side of his face. He seemed lost in his world as usual but he could respond to my queries. But I was to know later that actually, he lost quite an amount of blood due to the fall, and by the weekend, he had acquired a black eye and bruises on the left side of his face, plus bruises to his knees as well. Luckily for us, my brother and his wife were home at that time. This story actually needs a blog page on its own. My brother David, wrote a very informative and heartfelt piece on my dad’s condition in his blog: myhealthmatters. I pray my mum and dad will weather this ‘hiccup’ well. The next two days went by quickly as I had to attend a few meetings and prepare for my next interview, this time for the post of “pegawai cemerlang DG52”.


Tenacious Thursday! The d-day for yet another interview to promote senior staff to yet another higher grade. This time the interview was to be handled personally by the Director-general himself plus two senior officers.what was needed we were told, was our CV. Just bring that, cukup! The interview was to be held after office hours and my session was fixed at 8.00pm. So that evening, I braved the rain (and flash flood in Puchong)to pick up my girl who had come back from church camp in Genting. Finally, we reached home at 6.30pm and after a quick wash, was out of the house to go to Putrajaya for the interview. I arrived earlier than expected. We were to be interviewed in groups of 6 people and the earlier groups were each delayed by half an hour so mine was re-fixed at 8.30pm. Soon our turn came, the interviewers included Deputy-General (DG), Deputy Director General (DDG) and a Division Secretary. Our interview was forum-like. We were given a topic to discuss openly. The DG opened with a topic on the General elections held in March and after we had our say, the DDG gave a topic on Integrity. I think I did ok, I mean, with open topics such as the above, there is much to say. I only hope what I said
left a positive impact on the bosses. Oh well, as the DG said, “Doakan sahaja” which means ‘pray’. May the best man win, but as they say, “Man plans but GOD decides”.

Friday saw me attending the last day of the Extraordinary English for Protocol course I was taking…in the words of our dear friend, Sam, before he departed for the Holy Land to fulfil his Haj.
“The course may have ended on Friday, two days ago, nonetheless the poignant
memories remained. The few final scenes during the video presentation,
which was finely put together by Azemi and his team, were etched in my
memory. Mrs J. was at a loss for words for a few moments and you could almost
hear a pin drop when the whole class went quiet in absorbing the poignant
moments”. Yes, what an end to a perfectly hectic week. I myself was lost for words except to give Mrs J. three hugs and wish her well. I thanked her for the friendship and her infective enthusiasm for life and all things healthy and wise. Thank you Mrs J. for effectively facilitating our extraordinary course and to all my equally enthusiastic course mates, continue with the good habits learnt and acquired throughout the course.

Life is for us to live our best, be happy and live each day as if it were our last.

Cheers.

Fond memories- Kuantan 26 years on...

Yes, folks, am in Kuantan now...official duty.
It's been a long time coming... brings back t the time I first came to Kuantan in January 1982, as a fresh-faced graduate and my first job in Politechnic Kuantan, Semambu.

Would you believe, that was my first encounter with Kuantan or as near as I could get with my venture to the East Coast which till then, was the other part of the world, as I was born and bred in Johor Bahru, then did my varsity education in K.L. My first time to Kuantan was a bus trip with my youngest brother Henry for company. He was really good company for I was filled with anxiety, tension, expectations, fear of what the future would bring.

But the days turned to months, then years...and I finally left in 1995, after 13 years at the Polytechnic. It was in Kuantan that I made some really good friends, colleagues who remain my friends till this day, I had a pow-wow with them just yesterday at the local Kemaman Kopitiam, Jey, Noraini. It was in Kuantan that we bought our first house in Air Putih, it was also here that I was to have my two younger children, Jonathan and Joanne. My eldest girl, Jenny, was born in Johor Bahru..that is another story..perhaps I will talk about that another day. Yes, Kuantan holds fond memories for me, Telok Chempedak and Kompleks Teruntum, the local bus station where I made weekly trips home to JB etc, (my baby was being cared for by my parents for the first year of her life as my husband was working elsewhere at that time),the salt fish emporium where I used to buy all my family's needs for ikan bilis, dried prawns, keropok, dried sotong, rojak sause, salted fish...the durains and fresh seasonal fruits...that in a nutshell was Kuantan for me. I love Kuantan., my home for thirteen years!

This week, I am 'home' and am thrilled to be back. Managed to squeeze in an hour with old friends at the Kopitiam yesterday and today meeting another group at 6pm. Kuantan has changed so much over the years. Would you believe I have lost track of where my former house stood, even the name of the road has changed! And the rubber estate next to my house then is now a new housing estate...new malls , the Berjaya mall and the East Coast (EC ) mall have sprung up, though I have no time to visit as yet. Our meetings, I'll have you know, are very tightly scheduled and we meet and do our work from 8am till 10.30 pm at night (sometimes even past midnight). We only have our breaks for tea, lunch, tea and dinner. That is how government servants work when we are outstation, no time waster..really...! So shopping and mall viewing will have to take a backseat on this trip.

I loved Telok Chempedak (TC) for that was a place I hung out with my roomate, Cheam, developed a taste for road jogging and hill climbing up Bukit Pelindung. TC as it is fondly called has changed its facade, there are now walkways and pedestrain walks, and stalls selling handicraft. The shops along the road to TC remain the same...wow, time has stood still for them. As for Bukit Pelindung, numerous large homes have grown on the hill slopes taking the rural, rustic charm from the hill I spent most evenings while out with my boyfriend then husband. Yes, Kuantan holds special memories for me.

Infact, the journey by car, along the new Karak highway was a new adventure for me. I am glad it's mostly two-way now, I remember my fears each time we drove those days as it was mainly one-way for both lanes of traffic. It was quite horrendous really as we had to drive past a lot of timber lorries. It was scary as well. I haven't used that road since we left in 1995. I have always wanted to try this highway ever since it was completed but somehow that idea never took off. This time I had company. I never would have driven to Kuantan alone. Somehow, my driving skills and confidence level of driving on my own takes a backseat against the road bullies and traffic. I missed the East coast way back to JB, where we passed through Rompin, Mersing, Kota Tinggi then to JB. I am sure it will be an adventure as well. I dont know, in future I am sure if ever I come this way alone, I'd probably take the plane. It's only half an hour from KLIA.

I enjoyed the drive, the scenery on both sides still beckon fond memories but most of all, traffic was minimal (maybe it wasn't the weekend) and the roads relatively safe . The rainy weather didn't damper our spirits but it did slow us down. All in all, it was an enjoyable drive and we even managed to savor the delicious "ikan patin (silver catfish) buah masak dalam tempoyak" in Temerloh. It was simply delicious albeit pricey but hey, we got to live a little, right?

Well, Kuantan still holds a special place in my heart and really, my husband and I should find time to show our children where they were born and tell them about the place they called home for the first few years of their lives. Honey, are you reading this? Yes, I leave tomorrow but Kuantan should not just be a stopover, there is much to enjoy and discover. One should take a short holiday here and enjoy the Kuantan that we all know and love.

Cheers!

Don't Sweat the Small stuff

Hello folks,
Thought I'd put here what I shared with my colleagues last Thursday during a "share a Book' session at our BTP resource center. This in a nutshell is a summary of part of the book's contents. Hope you enjoy it.

Title: Don’t sweat the small stuff
Author: Richard Carlson
Publisher: Hodder & Stoghton
Year of Pub: 1997

This book was given to me by my youngest brother Henry, in 2003 when I was promoted to School Principal. He probably thought I would be overwhelmed and being me...I might just be "sweating" over little things. How true! This book has been referred to throughout the last five years and continue to remind me of the 'small things' in life that I should not waste time over and also the 'small people' who try to make my life 'miserable'. He he. thanks, Henry. I do hope some of the ways will remind us to live our lives to the fullest and not let the 'small stuff' get in our way of happiness and our daily living.


Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff And It’s All Small Stuff
Simple Ways To Keep The Little Things From Overtaking Your Life…

The Greatest Discovery Of My Generation Is That A Human Being Can Alter His Life By Altering His Attitude.- William James

Theme: How to live a more fulfilled and peaceful life, by making our actions more peaceful and caring and encourages us to trust our intuitions so that we can live each day as if it might be your last.

Messages:
1. Ask ourselves this question: Will this matter a year from now?
2. Do something nice for someone else –and don’t tell anyone about it.
3. Surrender to the fact that life isn’t fair
4. Listen to your feelings (they are trying to tell you something)
5. Remember that when you die, your ‘in’ box won’t be empty.

Book Content: The book actually has 100 ways to "not sweat the small stuff" but I have picked only about 30 of them to share with you...

1. Don’t sweat the small stuff

E.g. a stranger cutting into our lane when driving…rather than let it go, we rant about it the whole day when in fact, we should just have compassion for the driver, allow the driver to have his accident somewhere else.
Whether we had to wait in line, listen to unfair criticism, or do the lion’s share of the work, it pays if we learn not to worry about little things. We may lose touch with the magic and beauty of life. When you commit yourself to this goal, you will find that you have more energy to be kinder and gentler.

2.Make peace with imperfection

The need for imperfection – creates conflict within us.
A disorganised cupboard
Overweight
Our looks, behaviour
Catch yourself and do not insist that things should be better than what they are.
Remind yourself that it is ok the way it is…
Eliminate the need for perfection and you will discover the perfection of life itself.

3. Let Go Of The Idea That Gentle, Relaxed People Can’t Be Superachievers

Fear that if we stop being superachievers, we might become lazy and apathetic.
The opposite is actually true.
When you have what you want (inner peace) you are less distracted by your wants, needs, desires and concerns.
It is easier to concentrate, focus, achieve your goals and to give back to others.

4. Be Aware Of The Snowball Effect Of Your Thinking

This means- one thought leading to the next-thinking and planning work mentally - snowballing- sleepless nights
Catch yourself, stop the train
Keep a pen and paper by your bedside, write down something you suddenly remember, then go back to sleep instead of letting it worry you and snowballing…

5. Develop your compassion

· Compassion is a sympathetic feeling.
· In involves putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, feel his predicament, recognise their problems, their pain and frustrations
· Offer assistance-open our own hearts-and feel the sense of gratitude
· Compassion can be developed with practice-it involves 2 things: intention and action
· Intention- you remember to open your heart to others, you expand from yourself to others
· Action – what you do about it- donate sone money, time, offer a smile
· Reflect the miracle of life – that you can see, read, hear, talk, walk, love …
· When there are those who can’t.

6. Remind yourself that when you die, your ‘in basket’ won’t be empty.

So many of us live our lives to get everything done. We stay up late, get up early, avoid fun, keep our loved ones waiting…
The ‘in basket’ is always full, phone calls to make and promises to keep, projects to complete and work to be done.
In reality everything can be done, in its own time…
Why don’t we enjoy each step as we go along, live a life full of love…
Remember when we die, there will still be unfinished business in our basket …
And you know what? Someone else will be doing it for you.


7. Don’t interrupt others or finish their sentences.

It makes people nervous, irritable and annoyed. It causes arguments and nobody listen to what they are saying.
How can you listen to what they are saying when you are speaking for others.
Remind yourself, be patient, wait for the person to finish talking first, before you take your turn
You yourself will also be listened to, you will be more relaxed and everyone will be happier.

8. Do something nice for someone else - and don’t tell anyone about it

· When we do something for someone, we are happy that we are thoughtful people and we want others to know about it.
· However, if you keep it to yourself, you will feel good, you will retain all the positive feelings. Feel good about giving to others.
· One should give for the sake of giving, not to expect anything in return.
· The next time you do something nice for someone, keep it to yourself and revel in the joy you are giving.

9. Let others have the glory.

· Let others do the talking
· Refrain from talking about yourself and your experiences (there will be time for that)
· Let others feel they are important, they have done something wonderful
· Do not have the compulsive need to grab attention from others
· In the end, you will have the quiet inner confidence that is derived from letting others have it.

10. Learn to live in the present moment

· Irrespective of what happened yesterday or last year and what may happen tomorrow, the present moment is where you are - always.
· When we are busy making plans, our children are growing up, the people we love are moving away and dying, our bodies are getting out of shape, our dreams are slipping by…
· No one has a guarantee they will be here tomorrow…
· Now is the only time we have control over…
· We fear we do not have enough money, our children will get into trouble, our old age …
· Get over the fear, live in the present moment.

11. Imagine that everyone is enlightened except you

· Try to imagine that everyone you know are going to meet is perfectly enlightened. They are all here to teach you something.
· Your job is to try to determine what the people in your life are trying to teach you.
· You will be less annoyed, unhappy, bothered, frustrated….learn patience and compassion…
· Ask “ Why are they doing this? What are they trying to teach me?”


12. Let others be “right” most of the time.

Ask yourself “Do I want to right or do I want to be happy?”
Being right, defending our positions- alienate others from our lives.
Stop correcting people. Praise people when they are right. They will become less defensive and more loving.
Start today, let others be “right” most of the time.

13. Become more patient.

The more patient you are, the more accepting you will be of what is, rather than insisting that life be exactly what you would like it to be.
Being patient involves opening your heart to the present moment.
Stuck in traffic jams, late for an appointment-being late is “small stuff”
When people interrupt, look at it as it is and accept it-keep your perspective- lower high blood pressure…

14. Be the first one to reach out …

· When there is an argument or misunderstanding, we always wait for the other person to apologise…
· Why not, we should be the first to reach out.
· When we hold on to our anger, we turn “small stuff” to “big stuff”
· When you reach out, others will reach back…

15. Ask yourself “will this matter a year from now?”

Is the situation really as important as I’m making it out to be, once in a while maybe, but most of the time it is not.
Whether it is an argument, a lost wallet, a work-related rejection, a sprained ankle---one year from now, you aren’t going to care.
Use this energy with your family- for more creative thinking.

16. Once a week, write a heartfelt letter

It has changed many lives, assisted more people in becoming more peaceful and loving
Make a list of people you want to thank and are grateful to…
Write your letter expressing love and gratitude
Spend a moment everyday thinking of someone to thank.
Feel good about it… focus on what’s right in your life.


17. Set aside quiet time, every day

· Whether its ten minutes of meditation, taking a ten-minute bath, ten minute walk – quiet time is a vital part of life.
· It would make life more bearable- we would be more relaxed…

18. Seek first to understand

· You become more interested in understanding others,
· You can communicate more effectively
· People will listen to you and understand you
· You will have better, more loving relationships

19. Practice humility

· Humility and peace go hand in hand
· Stop bragging, boasting, gloating
· If not people will talk about you, behind your back, even avoid you
· Practice being modest- humble and kind and
· You will receive more positive feedback and attention

20. Every day, tell at least one person you like, admire, love or appreciate them

· It takes no effort- but pays dividends
· When people are acknowledged and complimented, they will feel good and positive
· Thank someone, pay someone a compliment,
· Tell someone close you love them
· It takes only a couple of seconds but leaves an endless trail of good feeling …

21. Be grateful when you’re feeling good, and graceful when you’re feeling

· Understand that both positive and negative feelings come and go
· Accept the inevitability of passing feelings
· When you’re feeling good, be grateful, be happy, enjoy the feeling…
· When you’re feeling bad, don’t fight it, try to relax, accept it gracefully

22. Do one thing at a time

· How often do we try to do more than one thing at a time?
· Eg. Shave, drink coffee and read newspapers all at once.
· When we do that, it is impossible to be present-moment oriented.
· You become less focussed and effective
· Be present in what you are doing.
· Concentrate- you will be more interested
· You will be amazed at how quickly and efficiently you’ll get things done.


23. Count to ten.

· When you’re angry, take a long deep inhalation, count number one to ten, if really angry, count to twenty.
· The combination of counting and breathing is relaxing, it helps big stuff become small stuff.
· Incorporate into your daily life- even when not angry, try the breathing exercises, relax and enjoy it.

24. Be willing to learn from friends and family

PEOPLE CLOSEST TO US KNOW US THE BEST
They can help us solve problems, offer simple solutions.
Ask your friends “ What are my weak spots?”
Ask your family for advice- it may prevent you from having bad experiences

25. Be happy where you are.

Many of us postpone our happiness- someday when I have money, when I get a promotion, I’ll be happy.
We keep waiting for something to happen..
But life keeps moving forward, we can be happy right now, If not now, when?
There is no way to happiness,
Happiness is the way.

26. Make service a vital part of your life

· To become kinder, more loving requires action.
· Ask yourself “ How can I be of service?”
· Help others, your chances to be of service are endless.
· Giving is its own reward.
· When you give, you will receive.
· Everybody wins.

27. Do a favour and don’t ask for, or expect one in return.

When you do something nice for someone, you’ll have a sense of ease and peace.
Your reward is knowing you have done something good, even if no one says thank you or acknowledge it.
The more you practice, you will experience the good feelings which are rewards in themselves.

28. Become an early riser

So many people wake up, rush off to work, grab a quick cup of coffee…
After work, you rush home and feel so tired…
Before your day begins, get an early start … wake up at 3 or 4 am in the morning.
Use the quite time to read, do yoga, just relax…when the rest of the family wakes up, you already had your quiet time

29. Mind your own business (MYOB)

It’s about knowing when to help and when to leave something alone.
MYOB – goes beyond avoiding temptation, gossiping, eavesdropping, talking behind people’s back.
Have the wisdom to back off- focus your attention to where it’s truly relevant and needed.

30. LIVE THIS DAY AS IF IT WERE YOUR LAST, IT MIGHT BE!

None of us know how long we have to live, sadly we act as if we are going to live forever…
We postpone things we want to do, go fishing, bake a cake, visit old friends, writing a letter…
Live each day as if it is your last day on earth.
Realise how precious life is, don’t sweat the small stuff… treasure yourself.

So folks...enjoy today and everyday and don't let anyone bug you...life is too short for us to get overworked and miserable...be happy. Here's wishing you happy days and plenty of sunshine to match your day, everyday.