Today there was an article in the New Straits Times by Maureen Rice entitled, "50 and loving it".
Two and a half years ago in April 2008, I started my blog '50andlivingit'. While Maureen writes about women over 50 who are embracing midlife with energy and passion, back then I decided that I was going 'to be 50 and I will live my life as I see it and love the way I live it".
She says, 'Today's midlife women have lived more multifacted lives than their mothers. They have more education, wider experiences, bigger networks and are more economically independent than our mothers, none of which protects us from ill health, a bad marriage or ageing parents but they can help you deal with them a lot better'.
Back then, it was much easier to believe and write with enthusiasm amidst a positive attitude and mind. I still want to believe in all things positive about my outlook of life, about family, friends and colleagues and people in general. Looking back, I embraced 50 with gusto...I wanted to start the second half of a decade well..I wanted to live my life to the fullest. I still do. The past two years have been filled with sadness at my dad's passing, with happiness at being awarded at my job at last, at my nephew's wedding and family get togethers. But the last year has seen my enthusiasm for life overshadowed by the animosity and shallowness at work.
One cannot really divide family life and career life although we have been reminded to time and again. How can our work life not be affected when we need to wake up and go to work not knowing if the powers that be are in office and wondering what next. The past year for me has been a challenging one. For all who know me and wonder about my patience and tolerance, I can tell you that I have been truly tested. I still want to believe in the goodness of people, I still want to go to work because I believe I can still contribute to the organisation but I can tell you,I am searching for greener pastures. Why not and how come so late? Well its never too late to start afresh even if I am now 50 + 2!
2010 is about to end, I have not shed the pounds I pledged to do back in 2008, in fact I think i might have plowed them back in due to the pressures at work, but then I have no one to blame but myself, cos if anyone is in control of our bodies, it is ourselves. That is one resolution that is going into the 2011 basket.
2010..hmmm...what a year this has been. one filled with uncertainty at work even till today. Luckily for me, family in the end is all that matters and friendship. I have cultivated many fantastic friendships and I thank God for that. Let us not regret one day for what has been. But instead reflect on what has been positive and good the past year. It is a year in our lives and it has been a year of how we made it to be.
I look back and am proud to say I have stood my ground, I have given my best to all the tasks given to me, I have been a filial daughter, a supportive wife and mother, a great sister, aunt... a responsible boss and a good friend to all my co-workers. I did travel to China and seen Shanghai plus a few other cities. I wish I had been able to travel more but being around for my mum who is not very mobile has been a factor that I stay home. Oh...I was crowned Scrabble champion at work...he he..not bad you say, ya..seeing that I haven't played in years. Fortunately, my tiles were good!
My kids have really grown the past year and don't need me around that much..I think. Still being there when they do is important and I hope I will be around longer to do that. As long as they need me I will be there for them. I wish I had the financial resources to retire early but no, so to work I will go and pray that 2011 will be a better year for all of us.
I have been blessed with good health generally and thank God for that.
For 2011, I pray for an improved working environment wherever I may be. I pray for understanding bosses and sincere work colleagues, I pray for more team workers and less cronyism and favouritism or racism!
I pray for greater inner peace and joy, for better focus, for more unity in my family, for love and joy to overcome greed and unhappiness. Most if all I pray for my mum to accept her limitations and uncertainties and let us help her in our own ways. May she find peace in her heart and joy with the family.
I wish for everyone a wonderful year ahead and May all who seek love, joy, happiness, success, health and wealth find it. May all who have hatred and vengeance in their hearts find solace and forgiveness. May you all receive what you ask for and live to enjoy life.
For whatever happens, I want to be happy, I want to live my life living it and loving it.
Here's to 2011. Cheers everyone.
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