Cest la vie

My much needed break from work ...

Months back...I told myself I needed a break. Yes, get away from all the happenings in the office. The bosses were adamant in following the directive, of transferring my sector’s functions to another division so to speak...as ordered by other higher ups. To me, cest la vie...Of course the officers were genuinely concerned, if we move, the new place was miles away from their homes, relocation was a fear factor, new places, new faces, new terms. To me, anywhere you work, as long as you excel, as long as you give your best, as long as the bosses give you the due respect accorded to you, you will and continue to contribute towards the well being of the organisation. Having said all that, along the way, sides were taken, in crept the inconsistency of viewpoints, the indecisiveness, the cronyism, the sickening feeling that all was not well at the top as well as on the ground. Me, I held my ground, whatever the bosses want us to do, we do it, after all, “bukankah kita yang hanya menurut perintah”. I told the staff, just be cooperative, wherever we work, it doesn’t matter, what matters most is that the work gets done, what matters most is making sure everyone understands his/her role, everyone should get ready to move. If we are told to stay, we stay, if we are told to move, we move. But equally important, whatever duties despatched to us for the year must be carried out, nothing should get in the way, as long as there is no black and white barring us from carrying out our activities, we should do our best at all times. My policy as always, do our best and God will do the rest.

So...the whole scenario really tired me. After all, I have another 6 years to go before retirement, I want to make the most of my work life. I don’t want my working life to be filled with animosity, hatred, envy, jealousy, confusion and stress. I want my remaining work years to be stress and tension free. I want my work place to be filled with people who care about their work and each other. We should always remember that people don’t care until they know how much you care. We can care about one another yet be fully committed and responsible to our daily tasks given. Bosses should trust that their officers would do a good job and all will be well.

Well..that was how I came to embark on this holiday with my sister to China...

Another year older....

Birthdays...birthdays....birthdays...
After a couple of months of silence, what's bee n happening in my life? Come to think of it, lots of things...some positive, some negative...guess that's life!

Let's reminincse...
Mum was warded again for a spell of bleeding...luckily this time round, it wasn't as serious as the previous one which required her to stay in the ICu for a few days. But still, her condition has been putting us at edge for a while now, if putting it lightly, our lives as well...my eldest bro having to postpone his attendance at two international events cos he was worried about mum's condition. Well, surface t0 say we hope she will enjoy more years with us. Not that she has much quality in life at the moment, as the pain from her joints restrict her movements greatly and enjoying the pleasantries life has to offer. We all pray for the best and try to keep her comfortable as best as we can. Mum just celebrated her 79th birthday a few days ago. Wow, what can I say? She is as alert mentally and emotionally as she was when she was younger, her only disability are her movements...other than that, mum is Ms Know it All. guess that keeps her mind active and alive. Thank God for that!

As for family, how the kids have grown. My jenny is already in her third year at NUS and is fully into learning on the job at the various hospitals she is and will be attached to. her experiences have so far been both exciting and challenging. And she says to me constantly, "Mum, there are so many sick people around. Mum, there are so many abandoned old folks at the hospitals. Mum, a doctor's life is really all work and no play". Her forte however, has been the fact that she is strong mentally and responsible. She can speak three main languages well, English, Malay and Mandarin and several dialects and that really helps in her communication with the different patients she meets everyday. Good job, Jenny and I sincerely hope she takes care of herself too. As a mother, i constantly remind her to take her multivits and Brands...he he.

As for the son, well another milestone in our lives, he got his driving license at last and is brave enough to face driving on our crazy Malaysian roads. I tell him, he's got plenty of time to drive and many more years to go, no need to speed with the rest of the speedsters and also road hogs and "whatyoumightcallits", road hogs, road bullies etc. May God Bless him as he traverses through life's journeys and I am sure a big part of it would be driving...Now college, soon university...and soon out of the home nest!

As for my Joanne...well, she will be sweet sixteen next month. Wow, another milestone in our lives. Yesterday, as I was cleaning the store room, I came across a box of albums and so happens it was her baby album. And wow, how she has grown...from a week old...to the beautiful, cute girl she is now. Turning 16, wow, she is turning heads now, but I want her to grow up slowly but surely into a confident, independent girl.

As for my better half, he's so busy. busy, busy...writing speeches, writing papers, presenting papers...wow...you name it, he's done that..all the thinking and writing...and the increase in grey hair he's getting each day. Good luck dear!

Now about me, tomorrow I will be 52 years old. Fancy starting this blog when I was 50 and living it!
When I started I was diligent, now as the days and months fly by, I keep putting my thoughts off on print that is. I amde it as point to write this morning as I never know when I can do this again, guess i should make it a point each day before I got so sleep to pen my day. Ya maybe I will do that. Let's see, I got my confrimation for my DG52 post backdated to last year, that's great news, for me anyway. I am still with the same department I was placed in since July last year, management of educational resource centers and materials. As change must come, we are awaiting new instructions by the end of the year. A shift in functions to another government department will see the end perhaps of some major job specs..but come what may, my staff and I will continue to serve our best and allow us to carry on what we know best and do best. there is so much to do than be bothered with petty politiking and gossip. I for one have always told my staff to quit all the jabbering and do our job well...saya yang menurut perintah kan!

An organisation that does well will be an organisation that is united in its vision and mission. Everyone must give 100% commitment, starting from top level management. The people in any organisation are the most important, value your workers and they will value you! take care of your people and they will take care of you.
Yes, we have no time to stand and stare, but we must take time to care. As the saying goes, "people don't care till they know how much you care". My policy: everyone must give her/his best, at work, we are the boss and subordinates, after work, there is time for sharing and laughing. Work however, is work and must be completed and done to the best of our abilities. For this, I would not compromise, no way. So everyone should share the responsibility of bringing up the organisation and not just leave it to others. Trust and honesty should be the slogan of the day as well. If there is no trust, then no one can work in an environment full of uncertainty and fear. I believe we can all make it work and all of us have a role to play if given the chance. As for me, as I always envisage, give my best and do my best.

Ok well, guess that's a lot to say after a couple of months eh. What do I hope for the year to come...greater blessings from God, closer family ties, great friendships, a move towards finishing my studies...gosh that has been my greatest procrastination thus far...wish me luck. Cheers!
happy Birthday to me!

Time once spent...is gone

Its been more than two mths since I last blogged...let's see...a lot of water has gone under the bridge so they say...well there was Chinese New Year spent rather quietly..just family..dad hadnt been gone a year you see, also first day falling on Valentine's day...not so romantic as it sounds. But still it was a good gathering of family members in my eldest brother's house. Of course mum missed dad, so did we all. Anyway, days came and went and soon it was Chap Goh Meh and that too went away...

March came...oh it was eventful, my son got his SPM results..9As out of 11 subjects, not bad at all. Only thing is that wasn't good enough to help him get any scholarship!!!! So he will continue with his Aust-Mat at Sunway University College. Then we 'll take it from there, one step at a time. Good job son, and congratulations.

March also saw MoE's reading program reach its peak. The annual Program NiLAM albeit this time, it could only be held at one of our state branches, in Selangor to be exact and not in a hotel like in previous years. There were the budget cuts and a lot depended on the sponsorships. Thank God for CSR and a few individuals who helped pay for the whole event, like bringing our kids and officers over from Sabah, Sarawak and Labuan. Still, the place, accommodation and food were good and the officers, in charge were great. They were there 24/7 for a week. I, myselff was there daily till the weekend. The event culminated in the selection of the best Reader/Tokoh Nilam for both primary and secondary school students. The event took place in the official opening of the Kuala Lumpur International Book Fair and graced by our Deputy Prime Minister cum Education Minister. Congratulations to everyone for making it a success.

I was also involved in a NKRA mini-lab for Education workshop (curriculum) for about three weeks. Wow it was quite an experience. I thank the Director of BTP for giving me this opportunity to learn and be part of a team to improve the present and also new curriculum. It was also wonderful working with so many officers across the board. Now I have friends in almost every division. We hope there will be enough funds for all the projects we came up with...

April came....it was Cheng Beng again...our yearly ritual to Penang to pay our last respects to my parents-in-law. There was the usual family dinner at a restaurant by the beach...not bad, almost everyone came except for our eldest brother-in-law. We all wonder why being the eldest son in the family, he has refused to lead the prayers or family gatherings for the past three years. Guess we will never know... so then it ended with us and two sisters doing the prayers at the gravesite. The half of the six siblings probably went during their own free time. At least we did the trip and did our yearly duty. that much I can say for us.

April 20..came as well. It had been a year since my dad passed on. Wow, time does fly pass us, we haven't still finished mourning yet. For mum, it has been a difficuly year without dad. We try to keep her company but suffice to say, nothing will be the same. We had a church service followed by dinner at a restaurant for family and relatives. Once again it was a gathering of relatives and family bonding. A visit to the grave site the next morning brought back sad memories of a man dearly missed still especially mum who couldn't hold back her tears. Then it was back to pack and hurry back to KL.

Now that May is here...it's been hectice as well. Our sector was in charge of the Monthly Staff Assembly and well it was good. Congratulations to all the staff for a job well done. Then it was Happy Mother's Day yesterday. Here's wishing all mums a happy and great year ahead. Come 16 May, it will be Teacher's Day. A day to remember all our teachers and remind ourselves of our responsibilities as educators and moulders of the next generation of workers and leaders in the country.

Whatever occasion, whatever the event...be it happy or sad, all that came to pass. Time spent cannot be undone. All our experiences stored and etched oin our hearts and minds. Everyday is a new day..Today is the Tomorrow you spoke of Yesterday. Time is after all what you have, how you will spend it depends upon you, whether you sleep it off, whether you spend it at work, with family, with friends is entirely up to you. Just don't regret it, don't let time be your master, control your time...how much time you want to sleep, eat, drink, write, read, work...it's all up to you. So remember, be at ease with yourselves...live one day at a time, make someone happy, help someone, smile, lend a ear, do all you can to brighthen someone else's day, for tomorrow might not come and you may not have the time to tell someone how you feel...how much you love them...so do it today...have a good one ya! Cheers!

Respect...its got to be earned...

According to Wikipedia, "Respect denotes both a positive feeling of esteem for a person or other entity (such as a nation or a religion), and also specific actions and conduct representative of that esteem. Respect can be a specific feeling of regard for the actual qualities of the one respected (e.g., "I have great respect for her judgment"). It can also be conduct in accord with a specific ethic of respect. Rude conduct is usually considered to indicate a lack of respect, whereas actions that honor somebody or something indicate respect".

It has been going on for some time..rather its been brewing. To me respect has got to be earned!
Some people have been demanding for this and that...rightly so if you are the boss...but if you are not well, that's a different piece of cake. No matter who you are, what position you are in, you have to consider other people's feelings when dispensing orders or making requests. Human beings all have feelings, people have dignity and people all want some respect. You want people to respect you, you have got to respect other people first. Office politics is one thing, running down people is another. Me, I am not game for with one.

To me, it has always been my policy. When it comes to work, nothing less than the best is expected and quality should never be compromised...even though some things happen beyond our control at times, or when we let our guard down for a minute. I often tell my staff, where work is concerned, we must give our best at all times, we must take our work seriously and take pride in our work. After office hours, we can always pop out for food and drinks and be pals. Then for a while we can enjoy ourselves and inculcate good friendships. Sometimes, we find it hard to differentiate the two...that of boss and subordinate and between friends. But somehow...that is understood in silence.

What is most important is that, at no time should we make anyone feel uncomfortable in public or in the presence if somebody else. We want people to respect us, we must earn their respect too. Orders or tasks can be given in a clear manner..without barking at them, nor bringing anyone down. People should not be made small...but happy to carry out their tasks. People are willing to work, give them a chance to prove themselves. If there are mistakes, these can be corrected...and the person given a talking to, but no one should be made to feel so small and incompetent that they feel their dignity and respect has all but stripped away. No one wants to fail...no one plans to fail...a good leader ensures that. A good leader must ensure he or she has followers...that there is empowerment...a good leader must also lead by example, must also show how it is done...instead of just asking the subordinates to do it..and finding fault with it later. Intsructions given must be clear and most important, trust people to do it. make them believe they can do it and praise them for a job well done.

So all in all, give respect if we want to be respected in return. Nothing beats a happy family working environment. It is said, people don't care till they know how much you care.
Hey you out there...it's ok to love and be loved!
Cheers.

Some things you can't explain...or better left unsaid...

ya..what's this all about? Yes. I've been asking myself the same question this past weekend. What the heck is wrong with some people...at work, at home...or is it me? Just when you think you've done the right things, someone disagrees and worse still put you down. Just when you think life is all chummy yummy, someone does and thinks otherwise. Wow, that really makes you sit up and ponder. Why do I have to put up with this? I get up at 5 every morning, see that the kids and the maid are up...see the kids off to school...leave the house by 6.15am, drop my son off at college and by 7.15am , I'm at the office...you ask me why i go to the office so early...used to be earlier, at the office by 7am, now i have to drop my son, so there's some diversion there, well, I dont want to be stuck in the crazy morning work jam. Anyway, I prefer to sit down quietly and plan for the day. It's quiet time for me and the ideas can flow. Staff drift in and most come in by 8.30am. The day will quickly rush by...meetings, discussions...reports etc..and before you know it, it's 5pm...what a long day it has been. Suffice to say, if there's no meeting, I get to start my long journey home, again I want to beat the traffic jam home. One wonders, some days when it rains, or I leave the office late, it means two to three hours on the road home. That's when I reach home completely exhausted and worn out. That leaves me with little quality time with my family since the mood is gone and tiredness takes over. Over the past two years since I moved to my new place, it has been one of mixed feelings, comfort and satisfaction yet frustration at htimes cos of the distance from work. But most of that feeling has been replaced by one of acceptance of things that are and also the fact that, i still have family with me. That should keep me happy and contented. ya, some feelings you just can't explain and don't have to.

Then again, a quick nightly check of the office email is a must...just in case some colleaques need something or you have to edit a report or provide input for somebody who needs it. All in a day's work. It should be comprehensible by now, family, work...it's so closely intertwined, I can't really say i have been successful in dividing the two. To me, they seem to complement each other. I expect to bring office work home and so do my family. Everyone's got their own work and responsibilities. Some may say, leave the office work at the office...i guess i am one of those who can't, unless I have family commitments elsewhere, i mean out of state etc. If not, I guess I am available 24/7.

I wish things like family relationships can be as easy as it looks. Some things you can't explain, why some people react differently to what one sibling is saying or doing. A simple statement or email can be so wrongly interpreted by someone else, its hard to fathom. But I guess I won't try to find out why ...let things be...let them have their say and for me, better to leave things unsaid. Cos words once spoken cannot be taken back. Then there will be the awkwards moments when you meet cos of what has passed between, either face to face or via email. Some siblings don't talk to one another etc...I guess it happens in every household at some time or other. It happens in mine, now and then. But blood is thicker than water..and soon all will be well again. I mean how long can one keep the grudges, how long can one feel the hurt and the anger, as long as it takes you say, well, yes time heals they say, but to forgive and forget is another. At any rate, suffice to say, I won't be losing any sleep on it cos' my conscience is clear... some days, it's easier to just forget and not say anything about it at all. In this case, I really can't figure out or explain it and so I am leaving it at that! Well, then again, some things are better left unsaid.

Office politics is another thing I won't be drawn into. There's the usual gossip and I will not be drawn into it. I try to do my best and expect others to do theirs as well. I also expect that work done must be completed on time and done correctly at the first time. I also expect meetings to be planned in advance and executed accordingly. I also expect respect and decorum shown during meetings where and when it should be accorded. at any time, the chairman of a meeting must be accorded proper respect. Out of the office, it's different, one can be friends I often say outside the office but during office hours, there must be respect shown, a superior and co-worker and staff under your supervision. I just hope everyone realises this without it being displayed or talked about.

Well, that was my week. I am looking forward to what's in store..since the Boss is back.
Have a good week.
Cheers!

2010 is here....where am I?

Happy New Year.
We are well into January...2nd week to be exact. What have I been doing? I think for the first time in my life... I didnt make any NY resolutions. Wonder why? I have been busy as usual towards the end of the year. There was the trip to the APEID-UNESCO Conference in Hangzhou China, wish we had more time to explore, then the year end X'mas festive break and by golly, before I knew it, the NY was upon us...but I suppose if I wanted to, I could find the time to make a list. I did consider the fact that after years of writing down new resolutions and pondering over the previous year's list, I decided it doesn't really matter if I made a list or not this year. Over the months I forgot what I had written down and in the end, it did not serve any purpose for me. I suppose I could refer to the list now and then but then again, it was not important. The list was usually the same: lose weight, stop ageing, as if I could, be a better mum, daughter, wife, sister etc. perform better at work...the list goes on. I think over the years, I have achieved what I wanted to. Maybe if I had to make just one resolution, it would be to be more committed towards finishing my PhD. My daughter now cracks jokes that she will be graduating before me and she has another three half years to go before she qualifies as a doctor. So where am I?

Excuses, excuses, excuses. Gosh! I do hate procrastination and I seem to be caught in its web.
The funny thing it doesn't happen where my office work is concerned. I consider that taken care of very well. Ask my staff. My personal studies is the one I keep on putting off and basically, in the end its my personal satisfaction if I finish it anytime soon. Wish me luck.

I hope and wish that 2010 will be a better year for everyone.

Cheers

....its December

wow...its that time of year again. Tis' the holiday season....school is out...older kids having exams...shopping malls filled with lovely X'massy decorations...and the odd feeling that the year is coming to a close and the new year's just round the corner.

Then..its time to reflect on what important events took place this year, wow..what a year it has been...too early to reflect..no not really..I will just list here..else it might take me some time to get back here to write . For me, it has been a whirlwind kind of year...the biggest event would be my dad's passing, followed by my mum's second major operation...my PTK exam, my two kids' major exams and then going to China.

Its' been a year of emotional upheavals, sometimes tension -tied and sometimes pleasant memories. 2009 is a year that I will remember always. Personally...it has enlightened me once again to the fact that we are all facing death as a certainty, that life doesn't owe us anything, we have to make the bets of it, someone once said: when you fight life, life always wins. So we just have to go with the flow.

I would like to say for myself that 2009 was an interesting year. We learn from events that happen, (by the way, we are supposed to do that by studying history not repeating it), we grow richer emotionally and spiritually, internally as a person, we change ourselves to adapt to what is happening around us. yes we all want to change for the better. I hope I have ...

All the best for 2010...
Cheers.