On the road to recovery…
For most of us, the road to recovery no matter what our experiences be it health, physical or emotional is both painful and long. But time heals everything as they say, for as time passes, the pain eases,the scars be it physical or emotional slowly but surely diminishes.
It’s been almost two weeks, mum is on the road to recovery, albeit with constant nagging pain and obvious post-op depression and mood swings. Who wouldn’t, when you have had your chest open up, and both your legs cut to accommodate operation procedures. Thank God for the surgeons and the operation theatre team who carried out the bypass successfully and the nurses for their care and concern after. Thank God for my sister who has come home from England to care fulltime for my mom for a month. Thank God for my brother the cardiologist, for his expertise and advice. Thank God for my other sister and brothers who constantly appear to do their part. As for me, I try to visit after work and do my part during the weekends. My children, especially my eldest girl try to visit as well.
As a family, it has drawn us closer. For my dad, he is a bit lost, with his own health problems and his own world too. How we wish we can turn back the clock, but we can’t. My daughter, about to embark on a new course of life as a medical student in the National University of Singapore has her own say on the matter. The past two weeks have been an experience for the children and she said to me, “mum, we are so selfish, we want her to live so we can have her there for as long as we can, but do we see her point of view, she is in so much pain and wants to give up, but we refuse to give up on them”. She has always been close to her grandma and it hurts her to see her grandma in so much pain. Yes, we may be selfish I say, but we want to give her a chance, and yes, we want our parents to be with us for a long, long time. A life is a life and all lives should be cherished. We want to hold on to things so dear to us for as normal human beings, we dread the parting and we want to hold on for as long as possible. It seems right, that’s all.
The road to recovery is long, for all of us, in our own capacities and experiences, we want to live better lives, we want to do better than where we are now, we want the best for our children, our family members, we want the best for our selves. Yes, at times we have to be selfish to be generous, we have to be cruel to be kind so they say. As the nation goes through change and crisis, we, too, in our own families have our own experiences with change and crisis. But with time and support from one another, we try to live our lives to the fullest and do our part in this human endeavour we call ‘the journey of life’. Mum, we hope you will be patient and together we can get through this. Of course it’s easier said than done, we are not in your shoes, but mum we will be there for you and help see you over this hiccup in life.
Thank God I am alive today to write this. Before I end, I am reminded of a passage I once read that we should be:
-thankful for the noise you hear for it means you still have your sense of hearing.
-thankful for the sights and scenes you see for it means you still have your sense of sight.
-thankful for the laughter and speech that comes from you for it means you still have a voice to
use.
-thankful for the long walks you have to take some times for it means you still have legs to carry
you.
-thankful for the bitter and sour food you have to eat for it means you still have your sense of
taste.
-thankful for the worn out shoes you have on your feet for it means you are better off than the
beggar with no feet.
-thankful for the small roof above your heads for it means you are sheltered from the sun and
rain.
So folks,
-play like you never played before
-dance like you never danced before
-sing like you never sang before
-love like you never loved at all and
-live like you never lived before to the fullest.
Cheers!
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Friday, June 20, 2008
Cameron Highlands here I come...
First look at Cameron Hghlands
Yes folks, my first trip to Cameron Highlands! What? You may laugh out looooud.
But what the heck better late than never! I thank my family for understanding my need to be with my officers for a meeting well planned at the beginning of the year and finally seeing fruit, involving officers from all over the country. I am happy to be here. Cameron Highlands is on my list of “must do” things/places to see before I go….If not for my colleaque who graciously drove us up, I wouldn’t have been able to make it. Thanks Datin.
I am glad to chair the meetings as it was meant to be and make sure that things are really running well. My trip up here has been great, nice cool prefect weather… though the drive up on the dark road last night was scary. Still I managed to get up at 6am this morning and take my first walk around heritage hotel and the beautiful surroundings. I took an hour long walk and it was wonderful. After hearing so many stories from family and friends, plus read all about CH, I am finally able to savour for myself the cool air and environment.
My first visit to the PKG at Cameron Highlands next to a primary school has been interesting and an eye opener. Going to the ground should be the work of the officers at state level. Finding out at first hand what is happening and taking place on the ground and seeing whether plans have been implemented are some things that have to be taken seriously. Everyone must play his/her role, be accountable and responsible for everything that takes place and what should be his/her task. Of course as usual, it’s easier said than done. How I wish things will go on as planned and everyone plays his/her part without being asked and supervised. But that’s probably asking too much.
Cameron Highlands will always be special, cos the group of people attending the meeting have not met in a while. Good friends meeting again is always nice. I will remember the few days there. Work done and also short visits in and around Heritage Hotel was good. I had a couple of wonderful walks, one at 6 am in the morning and the other in the evening before I left.
A quick visit up the tea factory and tea house up Sepalas Hill, part of Boh Plantation was an experience. managed to have tea and pie there, and of course take photos of the vast tea plantations. Also a quick visit to Strawberry Park Resort . Beautiful. I also managed to grab some vegetables, strawberries and also tea of course. All too soon, it was time to leave. As I had a meeting at 9am the nest day, we left at 5.30am and came down. Another exhilarating experience, whoa… winding ourselves down the hill.
Thank you for the experience and for the friendship gained and experiences shared. I will go up again if only for a day…
Yes folks, my first trip to Cameron Highlands! What? You may laugh out looooud.
But what the heck better late than never! I thank my family for understanding my need to be with my officers for a meeting well planned at the beginning of the year and finally seeing fruit, involving officers from all over the country. I am happy to be here. Cameron Highlands is on my list of “must do” things/places to see before I go….If not for my colleaque who graciously drove us up, I wouldn’t have been able to make it. Thanks Datin.
I am glad to chair the meetings as it was meant to be and make sure that things are really running well. My trip up here has been great, nice cool prefect weather… though the drive up on the dark road last night was scary. Still I managed to get up at 6am this morning and take my first walk around heritage hotel and the beautiful surroundings. I took an hour long walk and it was wonderful. After hearing so many stories from family and friends, plus read all about CH, I am finally able to savour for myself the cool air and environment.
My first visit to the PKG at Cameron Highlands next to a primary school has been interesting and an eye opener. Going to the ground should be the work of the officers at state level. Finding out at first hand what is happening and taking place on the ground and seeing whether plans have been implemented are some things that have to be taken seriously. Everyone must play his/her role, be accountable and responsible for everything that takes place and what should be his/her task. Of course as usual, it’s easier said than done. How I wish things will go on as planned and everyone plays his/her part without being asked and supervised. But that’s probably asking too much.
Cameron Highlands will always be special, cos the group of people attending the meeting have not met in a while. Good friends meeting again is always nice. I will remember the few days there. Work done and also short visits in and around Heritage Hotel was good. I had a couple of wonderful walks, one at 6 am in the morning and the other in the evening before I left.
A quick visit up the tea factory and tea house up Sepalas Hill, part of Boh Plantation was an experience. managed to have tea and pie there, and of course take photos of the vast tea plantations. Also a quick visit to Strawberry Park Resort . Beautiful. I also managed to grab some vegetables, strawberries and also tea of course. All too soon, it was time to leave. As I had a meeting at 9am the nest day, we left at 5.30am and came down. Another exhilarating experience, whoa… winding ourselves down the hill.
Thank you for the experience and for the friendship gained and experiences shared. I will go up again if only for a day…
Of life and love
Of life and love
Two days have passed. Mum has just undergone the biggest challenge of her life. My mum, 78 years old in July has just had a major ‘bypass’ operation at Pantai Hospital. We had already prepared her for the operation, all the dos during the operation and all the dos and don’ts after the op. It helps that my big brother is a cardiologist. He has all the facts and can allay her fears as well as inform us all on what is happening, before, during and after. Well, mum did well, the operation lasted about 6 hours and thanks to the team of surgeons and doctors, she is doing well and recovering. She is still in the ICU and of course has a lot of pain. It will be a long process but we will be there for her. We thank God for his graciousness and blessings and seeing her through the operation. Now the next stage is set for recovery. I am glad for my brothers and sisters who have been together with my father as a family. How often do we sit down to talk and eat together. Gosh we all have our own lives and families, but because of mum’s situation, we are thrown together and it has been really good. It has given us time to reflect on the old days, on mum and dad’s lives and us as a family. I thank God, maybe this is what God has planned for us, to set aside our own plans and our lives and be there for mum and dad.
I hope this has new meaning for us as a family. Thank you to all friends and relatives for your prayers, care and concern.
This has just been posted due to my busy schedule.... but nevertheless its never too late...
Two days have passed. Mum has just undergone the biggest challenge of her life. My mum, 78 years old in July has just had a major ‘bypass’ operation at Pantai Hospital. We had already prepared her for the operation, all the dos during the operation and all the dos and don’ts after the op. It helps that my big brother is a cardiologist. He has all the facts and can allay her fears as well as inform us all on what is happening, before, during and after. Well, mum did well, the operation lasted about 6 hours and thanks to the team of surgeons and doctors, she is doing well and recovering. She is still in the ICU and of course has a lot of pain. It will be a long process but we will be there for her. We thank God for his graciousness and blessings and seeing her through the operation. Now the next stage is set for recovery. I am glad for my brothers and sisters who have been together with my father as a family. How often do we sit down to talk and eat together. Gosh we all have our own lives and families, but because of mum’s situation, we are thrown together and it has been really good. It has given us time to reflect on the old days, on mum and dad’s lives and us as a family. I thank God, maybe this is what God has planned for us, to set aside our own plans and our lives and be there for mum and dad.
I hope this has new meaning for us as a family. Thank you to all friends and relatives for your prayers, care and concern.
This has just been posted due to my busy schedule.... but nevertheless its never too late...
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Times are changing...
It's been a while... how time flies when you're busy...meetings, going outstation, meeting deadlines, finishing reports, finishing the first thre chapters of my thesis for the QE next month... fecthing the kids around...holiday season's over... visiting mum in hospital, making time for family ... yes its been a busy two weeks for me.
First the govt announces prices of food going up... rice... eat less rice, go potatoes and spaghetti...
Then the bombshell, price of petrol shoots up 78 sen, almost 40%, probably wiping out our 15% rise in salary last year... wow, I have three cars, have to cut down on going out, have to share transport only thing is I work in Damansara and my hubby works in Putrajaya, how to share and save, and my daughter goes to university in Bukit Jalil! Use public transport you say.. how? Buses are irregular if they go our way and taxis are not cheap, commuter train doesnt run our way...so how to keep up with the times, changes in lifestyle, its definite, I told the kids, we have to cut down on eating lunches and dinners outside, shop only when we need to, and stay in and play games that do not need extra expenses!
Times are changing, with what's going on now, we have to save so our kids can have more in the future but as I see it, inflation is increasing, our salary is not, prices are rising, our ability to pay is declining...I am sure all the utility bills will go up, I can imagine the bas sekolah fees going up, the tuition fees, the food bills etc... so how to survive...even on two salaries.
We are supposed to get rebates and more subsidies somewhere but when and for how long? I can just imagine what's going to happen, but what to do, decisions have been made, announcements have been done... the public like me will have to live with it whether we like it or not.
Times are certainly changing and as I see it, the surprises of 2008 are far from over and will continue to influence our lifestyles. You and I ...have to make the best of it.
Plan to live as best we can, I think the worse is yet to come, but as we are all positive thinkers...let us wait and see ....in the meantime, enjoy what's free for as long as we can...green parks, and the air we breathe.
First the govt announces prices of food going up... rice... eat less rice, go potatoes and spaghetti...
Then the bombshell, price of petrol shoots up 78 sen, almost 40%, probably wiping out our 15% rise in salary last year... wow, I have three cars, have to cut down on going out, have to share transport only thing is I work in Damansara and my hubby works in Putrajaya, how to share and save, and my daughter goes to university in Bukit Jalil! Use public transport you say.. how? Buses are irregular if they go our way and taxis are not cheap, commuter train doesnt run our way...so how to keep up with the times, changes in lifestyle, its definite, I told the kids, we have to cut down on eating lunches and dinners outside, shop only when we need to, and stay in and play games that do not need extra expenses!
Times are changing, with what's going on now, we have to save so our kids can have more in the future but as I see it, inflation is increasing, our salary is not, prices are rising, our ability to pay is declining...I am sure all the utility bills will go up, I can imagine the bas sekolah fees going up, the tuition fees, the food bills etc... so how to survive...even on two salaries.
We are supposed to get rebates and more subsidies somewhere but when and for how long? I can just imagine what's going to happen, but what to do, decisions have been made, announcements have been done... the public like me will have to live with it whether we like it or not.
Times are certainly changing and as I see it, the surprises of 2008 are far from over and will continue to influence our lifestyles. You and I ...have to make the best of it.
Plan to live as best we can, I think the worse is yet to come, but as we are all positive thinkers...let us wait and see ....in the meantime, enjoy what's free for as long as we can...green parks, and the air we breathe.
Ta ta...why worry eh... tomorrow is another day...
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Friendship
Today, I was glad I joined some old friends for lunch, some are retired school principals and some still faithful to their jobs.
It was good to see them all. I thank my friends for organising the lunch and for including me. I have been so busy the past year that I have neglected this part of my life when I was one of them. I guess you might say, I miss being a school principal with the heavy responsibilities on our shoulders and the students who make your day. I will always treasure those years.
Coming back to friendship, they say, "friends come and go as nature wants it so." We all need friends, "no man is an island". We need someone to talk to, to email to, to sms, to pour our hearts, a shoulder to cry on, we enjoy happy and sad times together, we preservere through good and bad experiences, we also play our parts by being there for them when they need us.
Someone once said "One hundred years from now, nothing you do now will matter...we will be gone from this earth, no one will remember the moment and no one will care". So we should live our best years now, do whatever we can, leave legacies behind if you can and must, enjoy our family and friends, live like there is no tomorrow, dance like we never danced before, love like we have never felt that way... most important as I was chatting with my friend Mei Ling earlier, we must be happy and healthy. So I'd like to thank all my friends I met today, for their friendship, for their time and care and for making my weekend wonderful.
Cheers!
It was good to see them all. I thank my friends for organising the lunch and for including me. I have been so busy the past year that I have neglected this part of my life when I was one of them. I guess you might say, I miss being a school principal with the heavy responsibilities on our shoulders and the students who make your day. I will always treasure those years.
Coming back to friendship, they say, "friends come and go as nature wants it so." We all need friends, "no man is an island". We need someone to talk to, to email to, to sms, to pour our hearts, a shoulder to cry on, we enjoy happy and sad times together, we preservere through good and bad experiences, we also play our parts by being there for them when they need us.
Someone once said "One hundred years from now, nothing you do now will matter...we will be gone from this earth, no one will remember the moment and no one will care". So we should live our best years now, do whatever we can, leave legacies behind if you can and must, enjoy our family and friends, live like there is no tomorrow, dance like we never danced before, love like we have never felt that way... most important as I was chatting with my friend Mei Ling earlier, we must be happy and healthy. So I'd like to thank all my friends I met today, for their friendship, for their time and care and for making my weekend wonderful.
Cheers!
Monday, May 19, 2008
Filial Piety
Filial piety
From Wikipedia
In Confucian thought, filial piety (Chinese: 孝; pinyin: xiào) is one of the virtues to be cultivated: a love and respect for one's parents and ancestors.
In somewhat general terms, filial piety means to take care of one's parents; not be rebellious; show love, respect and support; display courtesy; ensure male heirs, uphold fraternity among brothers; wisely advise one's parents; conceal their mistakes (though some schools advocate pointing out and correcting their mistakes); display sorrow for their sickness and death; and carry out sacrifices after their death.
Filial piety is considered the first virtue in Chinese culture, and it is the main concern of a large number of stories. One of the more famous one is The Twenty-four Filial Exemplars (二十四孝).
I often ask myself, how can I be more filial to my aged parents? They dont want to stay with any of their children, I know its because they dont want to burden their working kids and their families. How then, can we play our part, by giving them monthly stipends, by calling them regularly, by visiting, by spending festivities with them as and when we can... the list goes on, what else can we do especially when we hear they are sick and not well. I am confused. I am a self confessed workaholic, I dont even take off days when I am not well, unless I really cant get up from bed like last week. Crazy you may say, I like to work and keep busy, I play my part at home, the dutiful wife and mother. Still as they say, family comes first. However, I have been guilty of working and not being there for my children when they need me there, leaving my husband to bear the burden himself, like parent-teacher conferences and receiving results...
I am guilty of putting my meetings ahead of my family's needs . Why, because I strongly believe in giving 100% to my work, my sense of responsibilty and accountability so strong sometimes it scares me that I am neglecting my family life. I tell myself to be positive, I tell myself I have a choice. Since I chose to work, I have to live with it and play my part well, daughter, wife and mother on one hand, boss, colleaque and friend on the other.
So far, it has been ok. My family accepts my work schedule though they wish I was home more. I want to be a more filial daughter yet find it hard to divide my time and space. I call my parents often or they call me. This is the delicate balance we call family life. I want to do more for my parents, for my family, yet a part of me yearns to be involved in this worklife that I have chosen.
Filail piety remains yet the love and respect I hold for my parents and yet the missing link is not being there for them when they need me everyday, cos they choose not to live with us and we cannot live near them so to speak. So this has been the point of contention among the 6 of us, how to take care of them now that they are old and getting around is difficult. Social responsibility is ours to bear and society expects children to take care of their parents. I hope I can do that soon.
Let us not forget that mums and dads are to be loved and wanted, no matter what has been said and done, no matter what happens, parents will remain parents
I pray to God to bless my parents in their old age, to watch over them in our absence, and... for me to be a better daughter.
God Bless all parents .
From Wikipedia
In Confucian thought, filial piety (Chinese: 孝; pinyin: xiào) is one of the virtues to be cultivated: a love and respect for one's parents and ancestors.
In somewhat general terms, filial piety means to take care of one's parents; not be rebellious; show love, respect and support; display courtesy; ensure male heirs, uphold fraternity among brothers; wisely advise one's parents; conceal their mistakes (though some schools advocate pointing out and correcting their mistakes); display sorrow for their sickness and death; and carry out sacrifices after their death.
Filial piety is considered the first virtue in Chinese culture, and it is the main concern of a large number of stories. One of the more famous one is The Twenty-four Filial Exemplars (二十四孝).
I often ask myself, how can I be more filial to my aged parents? They dont want to stay with any of their children, I know its because they dont want to burden their working kids and their families. How then, can we play our part, by giving them monthly stipends, by calling them regularly, by visiting, by spending festivities with them as and when we can... the list goes on, what else can we do especially when we hear they are sick and not well. I am confused. I am a self confessed workaholic, I dont even take off days when I am not well, unless I really cant get up from bed like last week. Crazy you may say, I like to work and keep busy, I play my part at home, the dutiful wife and mother. Still as they say, family comes first. However, I have been guilty of working and not being there for my children when they need me there, leaving my husband to bear the burden himself, like parent-teacher conferences and receiving results...
I am guilty of putting my meetings ahead of my family's needs . Why, because I strongly believe in giving 100% to my work, my sense of responsibilty and accountability so strong sometimes it scares me that I am neglecting my family life. I tell myself to be positive, I tell myself I have a choice. Since I chose to work, I have to live with it and play my part well, daughter, wife and mother on one hand, boss, colleaque and friend on the other.
So far, it has been ok. My family accepts my work schedule though they wish I was home more. I want to be a more filial daughter yet find it hard to divide my time and space. I call my parents often or they call me. This is the delicate balance we call family life. I want to do more for my parents, for my family, yet a part of me yearns to be involved in this worklife that I have chosen.
Filail piety remains yet the love and respect I hold for my parents and yet the missing link is not being there for them when they need me everyday, cos they choose not to live with us and we cannot live near them so to speak. So this has been the point of contention among the 6 of us, how to take care of them now that they are old and getting around is difficult. Social responsibility is ours to bear and society expects children to take care of their parents. I hope I can do that soon.
Let us not forget that mums and dads are to be loved and wanted, no matter what has been said and done, no matter what happens, parents will remain parents
I pray to God to bless my parents in their old age, to watch over them in our absence, and... for me to be a better daughter.
God Bless all parents .
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Kundasang:Kursus Biro Tatanegara
Sometime back in January 2008, I took part in a course for senior staff of my organisation: Kursus Biro Tatanegara. Besides lectures each day, we had to wake up early to sing the Negara Ku, and exercise while facing the magnificient Mt Kinabalu. In the evening after class lectures by prominent government officers in the country, we again faced physical workouts which included marching and the famous Pucho-pucho dance.
As I reflect upon my experience, I had the opportunity to mix with my director and other HODs and senior staff from all over the country. I also had the chance to listen, to talk and exchange views of family, life and work with the others. I also found out that at my age, friendship can still be formed and that trust can also be broken. I realised that often life is not what it seems, it seldom is. However, I enjoyed the camaraderie and the ease of friends alike.
Most of all, I enjoyed the physical activity of dance and sports. For the first time in my life, I was given the chance to abseil down a high tower. It took me three attempts to get off the edge but I did it. What a great achievement for me. From then on, I was game for anything. When it was time for jungle and obstacle trekking, I was fully involved. Not the mud, not the heights and steep ravines could stop me. I was on a high. It also showed us that teamwork will get us through everything cos' no one can do everything alone. Together Everyone Achieves More.
Kundasang was a great experience. I will always remember it. There were pleasant and happy memories but also a couple of episodes which I would not want to discuss here nor want to remember. Still on the positive side, I made some achievements I would otherwise not have the chance to. Given the opportunity I would do it again, only maybe this time, I would try the flying fox or kayakking.
As I reflect upon my experience, I had the opportunity to mix with my director and other HODs and senior staff from all over the country. I also had the chance to listen, to talk and exchange views of family, life and work with the others. I also found out that at my age, friendship can still be formed and that trust can also be broken. I realised that often life is not what it seems, it seldom is. However, I enjoyed the camaraderie and the ease of friends alike.
Most of all, I enjoyed the physical activity of dance and sports. For the first time in my life, I was given the chance to abseil down a high tower. It took me three attempts to get off the edge but I did it. What a great achievement for me. From then on, I was game for anything. When it was time for jungle and obstacle trekking, I was fully involved. Not the mud, not the heights and steep ravines could stop me. I was on a high. It also showed us that teamwork will get us through everything cos' no one can do everything alone. Together Everyone Achieves More.
Kundasang was a great experience. I will always remember it. There were pleasant and happy memories but also a couple of episodes which I would not want to discuss here nor want to remember. Still on the positive side, I made some achievements I would otherwise not have the chance to. Given the opportunity I would do it again, only maybe this time, I would try the flying fox or kayakking.
Kundasang opened my eyes once again to so many things... to see people as they truly are, to fully comprehend that actions speak louder than words, that everything we do comes with a sense of responsibility and accountabilty, to expect the unexpected, to be ready to accept the truth, that you can't change the past no matter how hard you try. That one can learn so much through shared experiences. That good friends are hard to come by, that we should cherish our friends and loved ones, and that you can come out of circumstances stronger than before. I thank my friend for this, for being there when I needed the shoulder and the space.
Mount Kinabalu with all its majestic view beckons me each day and now dorns my computer wallpaper. I don't know, maybe one day I will go up there and make my peace with nature. For now, it will remain one of my most wonderful experiences and I thank God for giving me that opportunity to be part of the team that underwent the course and also for the friendships forged during the course.
I tell my family that mummy's about to venture into another part of her life and ready for some more adventures that life has to offer. I am looking forward to what life has in store for me, cos' as they say "it ain't over till the fat lady sings the blues".
Mount Kinabalu with all its majestic view beckons me each day and now dorns my computer wallpaper. I don't know, maybe one day I will go up there and make my peace with nature. For now, it will remain one of my most wonderful experiences and I thank God for giving me that opportunity to be part of the team that underwent the course and also for the friendships forged during the course.
I tell my family that mummy's about to venture into another part of her life and ready for some more adventures that life has to offer. I am looking forward to what life has in store for me, cos' as they say "it ain't over till the fat lady sings the blues".
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